I won't give up!

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You walked to your appartment. As soon as you stept inside you dropped your bag and let everything go you held in. You dropped to your knees while holding your face with your hand. Everything was too much.

Your friends stapped you in the back, the fans were absolutely cruel, your boss let you go because you were the last in and your grades went down massivly. Which ofcourse caused teachers to make some harshfull comments too. 

You couldn't breathe so you quickly unzipped your jacket and threw it somewhere in the room. You dragged to your bed and collasping on it. You cried your eyes out. You were sure that the neighbours could hear your sobs. But they didn't care for you, no one did.

Your phone beeped. You used all your strength to check, only to be met by hundreds of harmful comments on twitter. It was too pain full to look at anymore comments. You turned off your phone and throwing it somewhere in your apartment. You didn't care if it broke. It was only used to hurt you.

You grabbed the blanket and wrapped it all around you. It felt like your world was falling apart. It felt like everyone was leaving you. Your once bright world turned black full with demons. You didn't know which way to turn. You were lost.

 You pulled the blanket closer to your body in the hope to block the whole world out. You let all the tears flow. All the pain and loneliness flooded out of me. 

I cried for, what seemed, ages. I was dehydrated and to be honest. I didn't feel much better. My throat was sore, my head pounded and my hart was broken. I stood up. I couldn't walk straight but I tried. 

I walked to the bathroom to splash some water on  my face, in the hope to make me feel better. When I finally arrived I put my hands on the sink. Laying all my weight on it. I opened the tap and cold water flooded out of it. 

I put my hand under it. Loving how the cold water streamed down my body. Cooling down immediately. It was an amazing feeling. It felt like all my worries were flooded away.

I put my hand down and also let it rest under the cold water. I didn't care if my hair got wet or if I get a cold. My burning red cheeks were cooling down. The tear stains were washed away. I felt free again. 

I turned the tap off. After I pulled away, I didn't move my hair out of my face. My eyes were still closed as the pounding in my head became less hard. My wet hair soaked my T-Shirt. 

I looked in the mirror and looked at myself. I felt so ugly. My hair was a mess, my eyes were blood shot and my make-up was all smothered around my face. I grabbed my brush and threw it at the mirror. I didn't want to look at myself.

The glass spattered around. It made a few cuts in my arms and face.  I closed my eyes. Feeling how my blood flood down my skin. It was warm and thick. It wasn't a big stream so I just let it stay. It would dry eventually.

 I opened my bloodshot eyes again. The place where the mirror hung is now a giant hole. The floor was filled with broken glass. Not that I cared though. Nothing mattered anymore. 

I walked out of the bathroom. I heard the glass break under my feet, but I didn't feel anything. My face was blank. Smeared with tears, make-up and blood. 

I grabbed my blanket and went to my window. That window was magical for me. I lived in the middle of London on one of the highest floors. It was already dark outside so all the lights should be on. 

I was right. All the lights on the city were shining. It was mesmerizing. It felt comforting. It felt like all these lights were only burning for me. 

The time seemed to stop. I rested my head to the cold glass. My eyes crossed the London Eye. It looked majestic. All the lights were constantly changing. Just like my feelings.  

I looked up, in the hope to see some stars. To my luck, there weren't any. But the moon was shinning very bright. It lit up the entire of London. My mother always told me to look up at it if I felt alone. But it didn’t help this time. It only made me think of how I lost her a few years ago and how I truly was alone.

All the bad memories flooded in my head, whiping all the good ones away. Everything I did wrong, everyone who had ever hurt me, all of it ran around in my head. I didn't know how long I could hold this up. I just want to have peace. I just don't want to be afraid.

Afraid of falling and not being catched. Giving my full thrust to people who will leave me. Who will leave me heartbroken. I wanted to end it all.

I never thought of anything like that ever. But now it felt like the only solution. Lucky for me a little light came up in my head.

The thought of having to fight. It was small, but strong enough for me. I looked up at the moon once again. This time it didn't gave me more tears, it gave me the strenght to fight. I wasn't going to give up that easily. I was going to show everyone what I was made off. 

After I made up that thought I felt how I exhausted I was. I let the exhaustion get the best of me and I fell asleep right then and there. My head against the cold window and the rest of my body wrapped in a warm blanket. Ready to show everyone what I am made off. I won't give up!

The End

Okay. If you read the Niall Horan imagines you know what I am talking about. If you didn't nvm all of this and just scroll along. I know this one is very familiar to the Niall one. And tbh it was original to be a Niall one but when I was writing my fingers got lost and I wrote another ending that I wanted and Niall almost didn't play a part in it. But I really loved that ending, so I made a few changes and posted it here. The Niall one has a different ending but it's the same line. I hope you liked it and if you ever felt like this. Don't. You are beautiful, every single one of you! I love you!

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