Gay and Non-binary?

Was it weird? Wrong? To her, it wasn't. To a small 11-year-old the thought of kissing a girl wasn't weird or wrong. It was a girl had taken that way from her. Her first kiss was with a girl. How is it wrong?

As a 12-year-old she forgot. She forgot her feelings and focused on boys well one boy.

13 came around girls entered her mind. Again. It wasn't wrong. Boys are mean. Boys hurt you. Boys do things you don't like.

As a 10-year-old her pureness was almost taken away. By a boy. She laughed it off and forgot about it.

14 a boy stool her heart and she chased him for it back.

Girls. That one word that could push her friends away from her. I like girls. No. No. You don't. She was confused. Questioning. Bisexual a word to describe her. Maybe. Straight left a bitter taste in her mouth. She didn't like it.

Push it down. Forget your feelings down there not real. She told herself.

15. I'm gay. Well done. We're so proud. So am I. The good things filled her. Rainbows all around. I don't like gays. Oh.

Her dad. The one boy who hasn't hurt her just had. Depression. That overtook her. Self-harm. She cut. Deeper. Deeper.

She pulled herself out. Once again.

They/them. That was new. More new things. Something else to describe her. Maybe. Transgender. How could someone like that be attractive? That's what she was told.

Ruby now jack. Carly now Chris. Alycia now Kai. What was happening?

Jack the first trans person she attractive. Pansexual. Another new word. It worked. It fitted her. I'm pansexual.

But I hate my boobs and my long hair. More problems.

That's not what is happening. You're fine. You like these things she said.

You're so girly. Inward cringe. Yeah sure. Not sure.

Binding? A haircut? All so new. Rachel. Sports bras. Thank you.

Binding now a daily thing. A haircut on the way. She felt so happy for a time. But you'll look like a boy. Her family. That's how I want to look. She told herself. Is that so wrong? Your boobs are small. But she liked that. Lest noticeable.

She/her. Once again it wasn't right. They/them. He/him. Felt better. What about all three?

Demi girl. Genderfluid. Agender. All so new and so right. Floating in between felt right to them.

Genderfluid. A word to describe them. Demi girl. A new word. More new. They found more. More words. New words. Words to describe them. Genderfluid felt right to them. I'm genderfluid.

Sex something they never thought about. Not wanting it. Is that wrong? Should they want it? Ignore it. It's not normal. You're different. You can't be more different. They sunk lower and lower.

Suddenly it clicked. They found themselves. They become happy once again.

So. Sex. No. Asexual. Yes

Non-binary. Perfect. Gay. Perfect.

Pansexual and Genderfluid and Asexual.

So I'm gay and non-binary.