Parting Of Ways - ShivKara OS

Parting Of Ways

The sun was long gone. The indigo and purple strokes of twilight deepened into ink and coal. Shivay felt a shiver run down his spine. The hair on the back of his neck stood as the soft breeze brushed against his skin, trickling drops of sweat down his temples. He rubbed his palms together, exhaling a puff of air through his mouth, trying to calm the rapid pace of his heart. The chill of night had a little to do with the goosebumps appearing on his arms. The very recent fight he was engaged in had even less to do with his breathless state. It had more to do with the feeling that had suddenly taken the grip of his heart, the yearning and loss that at the same time enclosed him in a vice like hold of utter grief.

He had always considered his brothers akin to his children. He watched them rise and fell. He was there for the joyous moments of their life, cheering them on, clapping them on their backs. He was the first to be heard of their victories and also, he was the first they came running to, when things went south. He was there to guide them through darker tides, to hold them when they were shattered, pick them up when they had stumbled.

But the time never stands still for anyone. The time had come for the birds to fly away from nest, spread their wings wide and take the horizons. Fly away; fly high. Strangely Rudra's words found him, echoing inside his head, like a faint trace of a long lost memory.

"Everyone is leaving, everything is changing...will we remain as we were before?"

Sure enough, he had confirmed nothing was going to change. But was that true? Did he knew better than the fate to vouch for something like that?

Surely the young man standing a few feet away from him had long gone past the point where he was Shivay's Om; the brother he had always shielded against the cruel world; the brother who had as a result of his immense love turned into his weakness. The man in front of him was no longer crawling away from the fires, destiny spit at him. Neither did he reach out seeking for support. In his stance there were no traces of the fragile, easily broken, emotional man he had known his entire existence to be his brother. Instead, he was a hardened soldier in the battle of life. A man in whose eyes there was a determined gleam of courage, a thirst of proving his worth, a fire enough to light his path ahead and ignite any obstacle. This man, no longer needed to be shielded.

Shivay was confused with his own feelings. On one hand, he felt proud. His brother had finally taken up his full potential. He had always known, there was this persona hiding somewhere inside his too soft heart. He had seen a few glimpses of the icy wrath that burned underneath all that was pure Om. He had seen a few rare occasions where, he himself was sized by his overwhelming anger, Om stepping between him and absolute chaos, taking things under control with a calm that felt superhuman achievement to Shivay at the time. In his eyes, which had always been clear pools of truth and open doors to his soul, he had seen the pain simmering deep within. The man who now stood facing him, had been molded in the fires of that bottled up pain, cooled in the icy pits of disappointments and betrayals. His softhearted brother would not last the battles they were born to fight. Shivay had always worried what Om's fate might be. But now, this person was all and more what the life wanted. He was relieved; or was he?

Their arguments, he always seeing world in black and white, always believing in second chances, always trusting, always getting wounded. Too much invested in emotions he had  found Shivay's philosophy of keeping his head in control and heart locked away inhumane. Shivay would defend his view with all he had, at times too bitterly. But he loved that voice of reason, which called from the absolute light, helping him navigate through the shadowy lands he walked. He liked Om playing devil's advocate and reminding him all that he was not, and why he was not. For Om to stay as pure as he was, Shivay had to turn as dark and rough as he could. Only then would he be able to protect his brother. But no; he might not want to do that anymore. His brother was capable of fighting for himself. In the process he had lost that voice of light. The longing to hear him preach on love and life almost broke him, his eyes burned with a sheen of tears that he never knew he possessed. His Om was lost somewhere, in the shadows the life plunged him into, he had failed in protecting his brother.

But Shivay was no fool, he knew that this was no longer his journey, or his battle. Their parting of ways had come. The conchs had been blown, the sound going unheard in the silent of the night. They were supposed to ride for two different battles.

"I need to go Shivay," was all he said. That voice still sounded his brother's. That deep pleasant voice always soaked with emotions. Shivay closed his eyes, letting that voice wash over him, for what he knew was a long time to come.

"I know," he said softly. "I wish I could stop you."

"But I know you wouldn't." Omkara said with a half smile, his hands reaching to grip his brothers. The pair of deep brown eyes, locked with the glossy hazel ones of his brother. A lot of unasked questions and unsaid replies exchanged with that gaze. "You always understood more, even without explaining."

"And I sometimes hope I wouldn't."

"But then, you won't be Shivay. You won't be my brother."

"Om - you " He swallowed the words as his brother smiled again.

"It's not your fault, you tried your best to keep the shadows from reaching me. You did everything you could. But perhaps, I was born for this land of shadows."

"Go," Shivay clapped on his shoulder, as the train hooted to the night. It's engines coming to life, and puffs of smoke merging with the mist of still young night. The more they talk, the more he would feel the helpless need to hug his brother and do all in his power to keep him from leaving. Shivay being the practical man he was, knew that was not supposed to be done.

 There was a tinkle of anklets, and raising his eyes Shivay met his sister in law's gaze. They had no time to talk. But he could see pools of tenderness in her eyes. Perhaps the girl, whatever her origins may be would be his brother's anchor star. The light that guides him home. He could have laughed at the irony of the situation. Shivay Singh Oberoi was pinning his hopes on a complete stranger. The girl smiled at him hesitantly, her hands fingers tangled together to stop them from shaking.

Omkara turned to leave, he walked past the girl with no words and then turned around to look as she had not followed. Gauri still stood there, her eyes fixed on Shivay, trying to read the strange expression in those hazel eyes.

"Gauri?" He called after her, breaking whatever the trance she was trapped into. She took a step back, still holding Shivay's gaze. He tried to smile at her reassuringly.

"Be safe Gauri," Shivay said in farewell. His words drowned by the train. He was not sure if she heard him or not. "And bring my brother back to me, if you can."

"I will," he could have sworn he heard her whisper. There was some announcement being made and then both the long haired man and the bride walking on his trail was swallowed by the shadows of the night. Shivay stood there for another long moment, staring at nothing in particular.

"I know you will." He muttered to himself. "I know you will."

*

 I'm not sure what I ended up writing. Hopefully you did not find it too disappointing. If you did, then I'm really sorry about that.

Thanks for reading and feedback will be appreciated. I'd really love to hear from you!

Love,

Sakura