Jacob Louis I'm trying to hang in there

It was a Saturday in hot July when I first met Jacob Louis, I remember that day perfectly even though I was only 3 at the time. It was a couple days after he moved in that his dad became friends with my dad so we became best friends really quick we would always play outside with some of the other neighborhood kids, we would play cops and robbers, tag, and hide and go seek. Those were the good old days having fun in the sun. Until age 6 Mama and Jacob Louis's mama were in a car accident after going to the store after work. They were also great friends but their was a man in a truck, who the cops said was very depressed and wanted to commit suicide because he was so mixed with feelings for his ex wife who didn't even love him and he really loved her so it broke his heart so badly! He didn't mean to kill Mama and Jacob Louis's mama(Jenny) but he was drinking and guess didn't mean to drive into mama and Jenny but he did and it was a really bad crash and no one had survived the crash. Daddy gotta call that day from the hospitial but we was all sad then that's when Daddy started drinking a lot and was no longer friends with Jacob Louis's daddy(Ricki), he had changed completely into this monsterious creature who had done things to me only couples usually do i wasnt sure why he did it and i swore i never knew that what he had did was wrong it just felt unconforable and weird I didnt enjoy a second of it ever, he would always told me never to tell anyone about it or he will let the Monster under my bed get me and drag me under there where it's scary and dark. But that was until I was 9 I hate when he does that stuff to me it's weird and nasty I wouldn't be able to sleep when he did that to me. He now tells me if I told anyone he would kill Jacob Louis and do that stuff to Jacob Louis too and I can't bear to have that ever happen so I keep my mouth shut and don't struggle to fight him when he does it to me. I love Jacob Louis more then anything in the world he would always help me up when I would fall and scrap my knees. He has beautiful light brown hair and is a little tan and has pretty green eyes and perfect smile and laugh, all I have is stupid brown eyes and dirty blonde hair that goes 4 inches passed my shoulders. I told him everything except for what my father did to me and he told me everything too. I knew everything about him when his birthday is May 19th, his favorite color blue and etc. I usually don't hang out with him a lot during school because he's popular and stuff he's usually busy with his girlfriend or hanging out with his other friends at their place or the highlands.(The highlands is basically a place wit stores basically a mall.) But I don't mind, I enjoy the walk until I reach hell (my house) where the devil lies awaiting in the horrorfying unknown darkness. I try to smile pretend to be happy but as Jacob Louis starts to leave my heart the more I struggle to fake the happiness. I can't take it anymore once Jacob Louis begins to forget who I am it's over then I'll go to a quiet place where dad will never touch me again and make me do gross things again and Mama will be with me and I can stop being afraid of going back to hell everyday being beat and touched I know people everyday are fighting for their lives trying to surive but I jus wish i could give them the rest of my years because I cant take it anymore.

I just wanna go where no one will beat me, touch me, threaten me, horrorfy me anymore where it will all be over. Just have to wait until Jacob Louis forgets about me then I'm gone. I have no other choice in this world that all it's offers are worthless and dark and painful for me. I don't see any good anymore just ugly terrible night mares is all.

It's been a couple weeks and I haven't seen Jacob Louis at all maybe a few times at school but that's it. I think he sees me as a stranger now, now i can just let it all go its time.

As I walk home from school as usually i try to enjoy this moment quiet walk to hell and horrors that await with it but it shall all be over soon. All of a sudden I feel a tug on my belt hoop from behind I fall back and afraid of falling back and hitting the hard sidewalk I try to catch myself but instead I land in someone's arms unaware of who it is I try to get out of them as fast as I can I'm so scared for who it is praying that it ain't the devil coming to bring me to hell faster then I was going to be there. I quickly get out of the arms of the person I turn around shaking and filled with fear and my eyes about to burst with tears for who I thought or who I knew it might be looking at the ground.