Not What It Seems... (BxB, MxM and MxB)

Part 4: Why...?

Hyun's pov

My eyes started to burn with tears. 

Why can't he get it through his head that he can't have it both ways... its me... or her...

I then started to laugh when I realize just who SHE is... I knew it... Fuck whore! But what I didn't know, was that she was cheating on HIM with Josh.. But I'm also not surprise that they were messing around... 

Just across the park I see Josh holding hands with the leader of the cheerleading squad, Mia. 

Me and Mia were really good friends once, but you see where that got us.. 

I laugh some more, shaking my head before turning around and walking back home.

When I got home, of course my mom would ask how things went. I couldn't lie but I couldn't tell her the truth either. 

"It didn't go as planned, but everything's ok." I said with a smile. Putting a fake smile on and lying to her was way to easy... 

I find it easier to lie and hide things from everyone.. Maybe that's a good thing... Who knows, maybe it's a bad thing... but at this point I was thankful for that. 

after that we walk into the kitchen and began to make dinner while listening to music. We sang along to all of our favorite songs, and danced a little.. and honestly, it was what I needed right now. 

when dinner was done, we sat down and I pulled out the two movies I picked up. Moms smile was everything. Just seeing her smile made me feel as though nothing was wrong anymore.

We watched the movies while eating our tacos.

Soon, we had our talk. We cried, we smiled, we laughed and all was good. And after our talk, we both cleaned up, put the movies back in their cases and set them in front of the TV, I helped mom clean the kitchen and the dishes, before we both went up to bed. 

I smiled the whole way up the stairs, and too my room, but once that door was closed, and once I heard moms door closed, I broke down. Sliding down my door, letting all my tears out, with a hand out my mouth , so I didn't make a noise, so mom didn't hear and come running to my room. 

I slowly walk over to the bathroom the was connected to my room, opening the door, and walking over to look in the mirror. 

I laugh when I see just how pathetic I look. Danny was right... He always is.. 

I look down, trying to push away all the bad thoughts running through my head. 

I let him in again, and he hurts me yet again...

All the pain came back to my side, making my sob and hunch over while grabbing my side. This only making me think about what happened three mouths ago with him.. Why do I always have to be so stupid?! Why can't I learn to forget about him?! Why can't he see just how much I'm hurting because of him...

I laugh some more when I realize how stupid I must sound... 

I go and sit down on the side of the tub, turn to the side to pick up a small, plastic container, that I hide so no one would find it. I open it and pull out my razor blade and softly set the the container. 

I try talking myself out of doing this again... If Danny found out, he'd be pissed. He's the one who got me out of this habit... 

No! Fuck what Daniel thinks or says!!! I don't care anymore!!!