Open mind

Chapter 2

I had gotten used to it. Life here wasn't so hard. It's been a week now and I had gotten used to how things went. The alarms in the night, everyone's noise and the rhythm.

It was strange going to school. When I was at home I had to wake up at quarter to seven and rush everything. Now I could wake up at seven and do everything at my own pace, which was still pretty fast. I needed fifteen minutes to wash myself and get myself dressed. Then I needed another fifteen minutes to eat and pack my bag for school. The strange thing about it, is that no one knew except for my friends. So every time after school I said: 'I'm going back now'. Instead of: 'I'm going home'. It felt weird living there but not calling it "home". It seemed to confuse others as well.

Luckily my friends were there for me. They knew I was having a hard time. Lewe was paying more attention to the lessons than normal. She did that just so she could take notes for me, because we both had noticed I was barely doing anything. I knew it wasn't smart to do nothing but I just couldn't get myself to pay attention. These were the last weeks before the summer vacation and this was the time I had to save some of my grades. I knew all of that, I knew there was hardly any time, I knew I should do something but I wasn't doing it. Instead I found myself staring out of the window or doodling in my notebook. I felt empty at school, even though I enjoyed being at school. Otherwise I would have to be there all day and I'd die of boredom.

The breaks were what made me like going to school. If I spent the break with my friends I was happy and laughed. We'd talk about small stuff and fool around with each other until the bell rang. If I wasn't with them during break I was in the living room. My school had a so called 'living room'. It was a small room especially for students who couldn't be in class for a moment. There was a great woman there for you, she was called Diana. She was calm and very kind. I came to her almost every day since I started at this school. I had spent my first three years of high school at the highest niveau. But my home situation got in the way and I had to go to a lower level of studying. Not that it meant I was stupid, it was still pretty high, but it wasn't as much work and pressure as the level I did before. That's how I came to this school and met this amazing woman. She'd go through fire for me. She always made sure she knew exactly how I was doing. She eventually made me go to the doctor and that's how I got into this crisis management. Even though I could hear her thoughts she wasn't as annoying as other people. Her mind was clear; not silent, but calm. It didn't put any weight on me since it wasn't hard to deal with.

Because I was going to school, living in crisis management wasn't so bad. I'd leave at eight in the morning and I came back around four in the afternoon. It gave me two hours before dinner which I could spent on my laptop. That made me happy since I could go online without the caretakers noticing. After dinner everyone had their own task such as doing the dishes or vacuum cleaning. When those tasks were done I often got one of the caretakers to play a game with me. If not I'd spend my time drawing. This was my schedule for almost all evenings.

You had to go to your room on a specific time according to your age. Age twelve to fourteen went at nine. Age fifteen to seventeen went at half past nine. Teens older than eighteen went at ten. Being sixteen years old I went at half past nine. At first I found it nonsense. I mean, at home I would go to sleep between twelve and two. But I soon learned that without phone or laptop I went to sleep sooner. I had to be in my room at half past nine, I didn't have to go to sleep at that time. So every evening I read the 'Harry Potter' series until I was tired and put it away.

I slept more and I had started to feel happier. I was less tired and so I stopped hallucinating at night. The voices in my head had also gotten less, or at least I could handle them better. I started noticing the good things living here did for me. I was glad I had decided to try it.