One Heartbeat to Another.

Chapter Eighteen: Confessions

[A/N: This is from Gwen Perspective.]

I feel my heart racing as I wait patiently for an answer. Ever since he gave me the journal, I couldn't stop looking through it. "I-I uh.. um..." he blushes, trying to find the right words to explain why. I wasn't going to let time go to waste. "Here, let me make it simpler for you." I take a deep and slow breath before continuing. "Is there something special about me to you?" Even in with no light, I can just sense that he's blushing uncontrollably. Fortunately, he isn't the only one. "Y-yes, of course there is. You're my friend, one of my best if I'm honest! In fact. . ." He continues to ramble on, but I wasn't going to be satisfied with that type of answer. There's something behind why he drew those pictures, why he acts the way he does and why he got injured from practice. "That's not what I mean, Hibiki." I look him dead in the eyes and give him a plea. "Please.. If I'm truly your friend,then you know you can just tell me what's going on. I'll understand, you know I will." He sighs out-loud before pulling his knees to his chest and looking away. I look over at the journal that he placed down next to him, and smile. Even if he lied to me about it, it's obvious that he has some feelings towards me, unless he simply cares a lot about me as a friend. 

"T. . . The past few nights when I've had my dream with the being, it kept talking about how someone was going to be sent to help me out of my sadness. From. . . the pain I still feel from years ago." He holds his legs closer and rubs tears away with his knees. "I haven't told anyone this, but I wasn't always single. I had a girlfriend once, but. . ." I place my hand on his shoulder and try my best to get his attention. I looks over at me a bit shyly and I give him a warm smile, trying to sooth him the best I can. It apparently works with him since he begins speaking again, this time not as shaken up. "In the dream, you were there. When I was in the most pain, you were there for me to comfort me. These few years I've gotten to know you, you've been closer to me than anyone else could be capable of. A-And it's just. . . I know it's stupid of me, but I keep trying my best to see you as only a friend, but in order to help me do that I doodle you or something. You know, calm down my emotions and not let them go out of control." He continues to talk but my thoughts invade my mind, 'Does he. . . love me?' I feel my heart skip a beat at the what ifs. The possibility of my best friend liking me more than just a friend. 

With that, the question I buried deep down in my heart came back to life, 'How do I feel about him? He's my friend, but. . .' I try my best to breath normally, but the question was clawing my mind away. 'He's an amazing guy. He's kind, funny and smart. He's. . .' I take a moment and hear the sound of my own heartbeat in my ears. I look into his eyes once more and all our memories flood in my mind in a second. 'Why. . .?'