eye contact / h.s

0.4

as for me, i'm cut off day dreaming about riding in Mr. Styles corvette, driving fast while he has one hand on the steering wheel, and the other on my thigh.

Haley comes out of the door with crazy hair, and her lipstick smeared. she opens the passenger's side door, and jumping in my jeep. "well, this is a new look," i laugh.

"yeah, the really tall guy on the team? with blonde hair and blue eyes?" and i shrug, clueless to who she is describing. "always talks about penguins?" she throws another hint. she awaits for me to suggest someone, "uhm, Luke Hemmings?" i ask, "yeah yeah, well he is a kinky little shít. i mean you should have been there, the hair pulling, ass smacking, oh and you should have seen the way he could move his -" i cut her off with my hand. "i get it Haley," i shake my head and laugh once more.

she buckles her seat belt on, and pulls her bag out of my back seat, combing her hair and fixing her makeup. "whats for dinner?" she asks, while relining her lips.

"i was thinking we head over to McDonalds and i'll get us dinner," i offer. Haley nods, knowing she would say yes, i had already set destination on going that way anyways. who could pass down 10 chicken nuggets, and the best french fries around?

we pull in, order our food, i pay, and then we pick up.

i pull into the garage of my apartment, parking and locking my vehicle all before i head into my flat.

yes, i do have parents. somewhere, i'm not sure where though. seeming as they're always traveling, i can never locate them. but that isn't the reason they're not here with me now.

i've met them 30 times, which is twice a year. a few of the 30, i don't remember. growing up i stayed with my grandma, but whenever i was 15 she died. my mother and father were very young whenever they had me, giving my grandmother the custody of me, was i guess their best option. my parents send me money every month, checks from $3,500 - $4,500. which i gladly accepted. whenever my grandmother was still alive though, she had insisted i was emancipated. knowing she would pass soon, she didn't want me to live a life in a foster home whenever i am eligible enough to take care of myself. that is how i own the apartment that i do, i am seen as an adult, and take on responsibilities that adults do.

i put the bags on the counter, and pull out a barstool to sit on, Haley soon joins me. we eat in peace, and silently scroll through social media on our phones.

Haley stays with me often, so often she actually has her own room in my apartment. a bed, and closet full of her clothes. i guess you could say it is more or less our apartment, after all, she does help pay bills and rent. though she'd never have to do that, but feels useful when she does. so i let her. Haley met my parents once, but i guess truthfully you could call them people who made me, and send checks of money to replace the love they should have given me. but i haven't seen them since my grandmother had passed, which have been two years ago, precisely. though i don't mind, i do appreciate the checks more than anything.

Haley doesn't have a job either, but whenever her grandma passed, she invested in her Will, that is how she pays for bills. she drives a little Volts-Wagon Beetle, its a baby blue color. we just normally drive my jeep back and fourth to school because it saves her gas. sometimes she stays with her choice of boys from the basketball team on the weekends, and they take her to school Monday.

though time rolls around and its nearly 8:30pm, but 8:23 to be exact. i've sat in the living room nearly all evening just trying to watch Orange is the New Black, but my mind is so distracted, i turn off the television and pull out another cigarette, lighting it up and walking up stairs to take a hot bath. i grab a pair of panties, and make my way into my bathroom. i run the water in and turn on music at a low volume. once i dip in the steaming water, i wash my body off, and clean my hair.

i finish off one cigarette, only to start up another. yet again, another horrible habit of mine, i smoke nearly half the pack just bathing.

but because i can't distract myself for long, my mind travels back to the man who looks like sex on legs. the way says my name is so elegant and beautiful. i had never liked hearing my name come out someone from the administration, but it was nearly like i couldn't get enough. whenever he nicknamed me, was a first ever for me. call me crazy, or even weird for feeling this way but i had never had male attention from anyone. it was all new to me. what was truthfully crazy about it was i call him my teacher, someone who educates me, someone who is supposed to value me as a child. this is his first day, and he may just try to have me under some spell to make me his guide and secret teller, but if this is what he is giving, i'm more than welcome to take.

once i've finished my 4th cancer stick, i wrap a robe around my self after slipping on my panties. i stand in front of the mirror, brushing my hair through the tangles while blow drying it. once i'm finished i throw my robe on the hanger, and curl up in bed.

i began playing on my phone, opening up different apps trying to entertain myself before falling asleep, but before i know it, its nearly 10, i smoke one last stick before falling asleep.

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