letters for baekhyun ; chanbaek

final line

I've been re-reading this journal for God knows how often. It was like my favorite mix tape made by letters you wrote.

It's been 3 years, Yeol. 3 years since you confessed your feelings, since you said I love you for the first time to me.

I never expect you to be in such deep feelings about me. I thought you just see me as a friend, a company, and a guy you can count on.

After you dropped the call, I let myself fall in to thoughts.

Of how we first bumped at each other. You look flustered that time, and I admit you're cute.

Of how we became friends because of an unexpected happening.

Of how I avoided you when you told me about my ex cheating on me, and I was stupid for not believing you.

Of how I realized that you were actually telling the truth, and how you stayed by my side even though I avoided you.

Of how I spent those moments with you.

Of how you finally confessed to me over the phone and hanging the call after.

And how I ended up in this state, realizing that I love you but I just never let it sunk in my heart.

I told you that I read your journal. I also read the words that your really wanted me to know.

But it's not complete.

The last letter was never made. And I just feel so disappointed.

"What are you frowning about this time, Baek?" I turned to you, still looking very displeased.

"Why the letters are not complete? I'm being so disappointed." I whined but you just pinched my nose.

"Complete or not, I still love you, pabo." you said while showing off your white teeth.

"I know. So get the fuck up there and let's just leave this hell place."

"Soon, baby." you said smiling, but it's sad.

Chanyeol was now living in a place near heaven and hell, also known as the hospital. He have this heart disease and he's been fighting it off since he was a kid and boi, he's still fighting. It's like an endless war between self and self.

We became official, after a month of his confession. Then I learned about his sickness.

At first, I wasn't able to sink it in because Chanyeol is a strong man and he's very joyful too. I never imagined him laying in the hospital bed and fighting off his own heart.

"Baek."

"What?"

"I love you."

"Stop being so cheesy, Chanyeol. I'm choking."

"Don't deny. You liked it."

I can't help but to blush. Damn this guy I'm having a heart attack.

"Shut up, Park."

Everyday, we fight this war and everyday, it becomes more complicated.

"Baek.."

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"You always said that."

"Because it's the truth." he smiled at me, weakly.

"I love you too." I shyly replied.

He was dumbfounded at first, and starting to squeal like gay. "I'm so happy, it's the first time you responded to my i love you's."

"Because I do. There's no reason to deny it." I said and all he did was to smile wide.

Then he grabbed my hand and placed it above his chest.

"Baek, feel the beat. It's screaming endless Baekhyun! Baekhyun! You're the only one made me feel like this, Baek. You're my first love and probably my last. Your my one and only and nothing else. Baek, remember my letter, remember the memories I shared with you, remember the first time we met, remember my i love you's..." he tries to caught his breathe, "and please never forget me, Park Chanyeol."

He then slipped a paper in to my hand between his chest and smiled. "I love you, Baekhyun. I'm dying happy so don't you worry."

Then all I heard was the beeping sound of the machine. And his smile that never fades until he closes his eyes... forever.

Thank you for everything, Baekhyun.

I've got to met a person like you in my short life of living.

I loved, I got hurt, I felt happiness, I felt perfect.

All because of you, Byun Baekhyun.

But maybe it's time to go, so I'm now bidding goodbye.

Here's the last letter you've been asking for and I hope you'll always put it in your heart.

Never forget that even from afar, I'm still loving you, my Baekhyun

Finally, you completed the letters for me, Park Chanyeol.

I LOVE YOU BAEKHYUN

I love you too. I always have and I always will.