Bad boy

We're still not friends|| ch 9

Jacobs POV
I felt empty. I didn't feel any other emotion but pure vast emptiness. She was gone in a blink of an eye. I still didn't know exactly what happened and I didn't feel like asking. It was the day of her funeral. I had to get myself together. I was forced to speak in front of a crowd. Really? after my mom dies I have to talk about her like it was the easiest task in the whole world. I sigh butting up my black tux. Black such a dark gross color that I had to embrace. It meant death, it meant my mom was no longer here. I sigh before walking out of my room with my phone in my pocket.

Sophie's POV
Jacob was devastated. Nothing like I've ever seen him. It saddened me a lot more than I thought it would have. For a guy that completely shattered my heart he managed to keep me together. Sounds ridiculous because he's going through so much right now but the fact that I got to be by his side so far had amused me. By now I would have expected him to keep pushing me away and just forget I ever existed. But it was the exact opposite, he was vulnerable like I've never seen him before. For the whole "fuckboy/bad boy" image he wasn't holding up very well. It didn't matter as long as he had someone by his side. Yeah he hurt me and I'm still not over it, when I see him I have this gut feeling of punching him so he flies out of here but the other small portion of me demands to stay by him. I should know better I've been in this exact situation before. It sucks, there's no other feeling but emptiness when the most important person you cared about leaves. Without an exact explanation it's just the world not wanting to make you happy. That's what I came to believe in.

"Sophie are you ready?" Jacob completely cut off my thinking. Most people call me Sophia but when he called me Sophie my heart strings just kept pulling at me, making me somewhat happy and smiley in the inside. See this is why I hate emotions they completely fuck me up. UGH!

"Ummm yeah" I pull on the hem of my black dress, trying to get some wrinkles out. Just a simple black dress nothing more to it and nothing less.

We walked down the stairs and went straight to the car. Rolf was already waiting for us inside along with my mother. The least she could do was comfort him when he needed someone the most. She out of a few women could relate. As soon as we got in silence took over the entire car. Not an awkward silence but one much needed. I put my seatbelt on turning my head towards my window. Taking in all of my surroundings.

Jacobs POV
As we were driving to where the funeral took place I couldn't stop thinking about Sophie. She had never left my side. She was always there to comfort me. Her company was needed and she knew that that's why she always stuck by me. What in the actual hell did I do to deserve her? Her kindness? Her comfort? Her presence? Just everything. After all, I did break her more than anyone. It was all too complicated. I'm not the type to stick in a relationship,I wasn't interested & I also didn't know much about it. My reputation was in line here I wasn't willing to give it up. Not now not anytime soon not never. I was known to attract the girls it could be with a small wink or a flirtatious smirk. They were at my knees begging for me. I got used to it.

School was a lot more fun that way. Nothing to worry about. No clingy girlfriends trying to come at me. It was just me. My fun my life, you only live once so why not live it to the max? I have to admit getting constant messages wether I wanted to hook up with one of them sounded very inviting but I didn't want a one night stand either. They would come nag me about it so no thank you I rather stick with the simple make out session, flirting here and there. Nothing too special, no commitments.

But Sophie she was something else alright. I got caught up in the moment and asked her out. My intentions were never for her to be my girlfriend. I am theee Jacob Sartorius. Me having a girlfriend was out of the lists! I didn't want to hurt Sophie so I decided to break up with her right after tour.

My only option for her to stay away was to throw hurtful words at her. I meant some of them but not all. Sophie was a kindhearted girl nothing like the rest. Her golden straight hair made her stand out along with those chocolate eyes. Anyone could melt while looking at her. They showed her true emotions. Her defined jaw could cut, her plump lips a light shade of pink where so inviting. Now that I think about it why didn't this girl have a boyfriend by now? Look at her jeeeezz!

I didn't want to risk getting my heart broken again. It happened once and I wasn't gonna let it happen twice. This is why I don't want a serious relationship, you get into the whole dating situation then slowly start to fall for her but then she just decides that you aren't good enough so she goes with someone else. Simple as that. In a blink of an eye. As I slowly started to fall for Allie she didn't catch me. She just let me fall and look like an idiot. It hurt so fucking much. I got way too affected by it that I wasn't willing to give any other girl a chance. They were all bound to go the same thing Allie did. I didn't want to risk that.

Sophie, I knew she was different, but after all I am the asshole who broke her to pieces as she was slowly picking herself back up each day. I admired her for not punching me in the face every time she saw me.

To make matters worse my mom leaves. It's not the type where I could say she would come back, she left forever, for good now. It broke me into a million pieces, a lot more than I ever thought of. She was my mom, how did she just vanish. I didn't get to say a goodbye, nothing. It all happened unexpectedly.

* after the funeral ceremony *

It all went good so far, I think. I almost made myself look weak because I wanted to cry, my eyes got watery as my vision got blurry but somehow I managed to push them back and not let it get to me.

Sophie was somewhere in the crowd. I was scanning the entire church looking for those brown eyes. I never found her. It upset me but I knew she was there.

"Hey ummm good job J you were strong enough to do this. I knew you could" Sophie gave me a warm smile as she turned around to her mother.

Without thinking straight I grabbed her wrist pulling her back up to me while holding her hand in mine.

"Sorry.." I slipped my hand away from hers. "Thank you for being a great friend and sticking close to me, never giving up on me." The words just came gushing out of my mouth before I could process anything.

"I understand what you're going through J , you need someone to be there for you, just listen to you even if they'll give crappy advice" I was staring at those pair of eyes. She meant every word of it. I kinda knew Sophie, I always eyed her on the hallways in middle school, we had a couple of classes together. Whenever she meant something her eyes would directly look at the person and they'll get a slight darker than the usual. I just smiled, a smile that said a thousand words that I couldn't actually put into words.

"We're not friends by the way, I'm just here for you alright?" Well shit thank you for ruining the moment. My smile turned into a straight line at the speed of lighting. It kinda hurt but then again I deserved it. That's what you get Sartorius!!

A/N:
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