"You showed me what I couldn't find, when two different words collide."
[Tom Holland x OC]
[Social Media]
[TRIGGER WARNING: sexual assault, body insecurities, mental illnesses, suicidal thoughts]
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"Everyone has a chapter they don't read out loud."
--
Mental Health By Willow Belle willowbelle.com
I am tired but I'm not tired in a sleepy way. I'm mentally tired and broken down. I've sort of been a mess lately which has been seen through social media and photos that paparazzi have caught with me crying. You all deserve an explanation so here it is.
Two weeks after Tom and I had a break from filming and we went on a hike, I broke up with him. I did it in a really bad way. I called him and told him within 30 seconds and then hung up. During that week, I wasn't feeling myself. I felt like I wasn't good enough for him and that he deserved better so I let him go.
We were broken up for three weeks when I decided to do a Q&A on twitter which was when people discovered about the break up. I admitted that I wasn't good enough and then decided to read a bunch of hate. By the end of the afternoon, I tweeted out stating that I was ugly and a slut and not good enough because that's how I was feeling with all of the comments. I was having a mental breakdown and when Tom saw my tweets, he came to my house and held me. I explained to him how I was hurting and I was tired of it and that I loved him and didn't mean it when I broke up with him. He helped me realize that there was a reason why I was feeling these things so we went to the doctors.
At the doctors, it was discovered that I am bipolar. For those of you who don't know, bipolar is a disorder that associates with moody episodes that can make you depressed or angry for weeks at a time. This isn't something that is curable and will be something that I need to get used to.
It's been a week since my diagnosis and I've been feeling a little better. Tom and I are back together and so in love. I have decided to take a break from acting and focus on music for a little while as that is another passion of mine. I'm so excited to announce that I will be having an album coming out soon and more details will be explained later.
Thank you to my family, my friends, and my fans for staying with me through my struggle. I promise that I'm going to try my hardest because I will not have my disorder gain control of me. I love you all.
Yours truly, Willow Belle
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