Author's Note:
Ok before we get started I just want to say I'm a big fan of avengers and my favourite character is Loki so this is why I'm writing about Loki also I want to give a shoutout to montygrey123 and you should definitely follow.
Also shoutout for Jeff-Williams he's my boyfriend and yes I'm gay just getting that out there
Comment below who is your favourite character on avengers
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"Hawk, we need you on the roof!" Cap yells over the comm from beside Tony who is firing missiles at the new surge of minions that Loki has unleashed. Steve releases his shield and it spins through the flock of small, winged, elven-looking creatures, sending a number of them to their doom hundreds of feet below. Some obliterate into the usual puff of green smoke before they even reach the ground.
"Where-is-that-smirking-little-shit," Tony breathes, punching a minion in the face. He cringes as he spies another ripping the television aerial off of a nearby building, and another as it claws at Tasha's hair on the street. An arrow plunges into its chest, and it screams before poofing out of existence.
"On my way, Cap. Just had to deal with another of the bastards," Clint replies breathlessly. Tony and Steve continue their on-going battle, and soon enough Clint has joined them, shooting arrows in every direction.
"Don't you think this is a bit on the strange side?" Clint muses, strategically placing an arrow in the temple of one of the minions. It bursts into smoke. "I mean, usually Loki's minions are a little more...durable? And they aren't even causing major havoc. They're just being...annoying."
Tony crushes a minion's windpipe, and it makes a choking sound before his hand is wrapped around nothing but air. He's been contemplating this all morning. Suddenly, Tasha and Thor come crashing through the roof's door and Hulk smashes down next to them, making the floor shake.
"They're only concentrating on us!" Tasha cries, emptying the rounds in her gun on a few oncoming minions. "This is beyond irritating! And they ruined my hair."
Clint swivels his head back around from grinning at them. "Plus, there isn't actually any sign of the dick. Maybe he's too scared to come out and play today?"
"I am not too scared!" comes a clogged-up-yet-familiar voice from behind them. Loki is standing on a nearby rooftop, looking one hundred percent worse for wear. His nose is red raw, and his eyes are watery. He coughs, which escalates into him almost hacking up a lung. His hand is raised, and the minions freeze in mid-air, pausing the fight. The Avengers watch the God of Mischief with shock and curiosity.
"You look like crap," Tony states matter-of-factly, and Loki glares at him, but the proceeds to sigh and let his shoulders relax a little.
"It appears that I have been affected by some type of deadly Midgardian disease. It is most unpleasant. I cannot breathe through my nose. Disgusting, disgusting human afflictions. I fear death may be imminent. I was not aware that human illness could kill gods but as of yet I do not see my health improving. It is, on the other hand, getting monumentally worse with each passing day. My magic is being compromised because of it. Look!" He waves a hand at the suspended minions. "It is most degradi- why are you laughing?"
Tony, Steve, Tasha and Clint are wheezing, all on the brink of falling about laughing, but it is Hulk who is roaring with laughter, and shrinks suddenly into a very naked Bruce. A compartment in Tony's suit opens and JARVIS pings a minutely folded pair of pants at Bruce's chest. As he puts them on, tears continue to roll down his cheeks.
