You know it isn’t easy being perfect. I’m just your ordinary everyday girl, I read books, sing songs, and even dance outside. I thought everything was great until I met, her. This new girl moved in next door, and she moved into my life. That is the day I met my best friend, I changed that day…
When I walked next door with my mom my life changed. She was perfect, her blonde hair was amazing, but her blue eyes are what caught me. I knew from the day I met her, that day was gonna be the start of a new me. Most people say, “it takes time to love someone.” I fell in love that day, she was my new sister.
I’m getting off topic now, this is a story of how I ruined my life. You see that day I trusted someone with my love and care, but deep down I wanted her for myself. I wanted to be the one she called when she was sad or excited, I wanted to be the one who she talked to everyday.
We were joined at the hip for years, we were sisters, we were best friends. We did everything together, even cried together. I was her guiding hand in her new school, and she was my everything. I woke up every morning waiting for her to get up so I could have her attention, her attention was all I ever needed.
The years past and we had our fights, mainly because I was to strung up in my pride to admit I was wrong, but we stuck together. Then high school hit us. We started to make new friends and drifted apart, I watched her make new friends from afar. No one wanted to be my friend because I was rude and didn’t trust anyone, but her loving personality drew in people. Before I knew what happened I was pushed out of her life all together.
I grew jealous, angry, and ended up shutting everyone out of my life. I was a lump, just laying in bed, I ignored everyone, stopped eating, and tried to end my life. I started picking fights with her everyday just so I could feel emotion, but I just ended up screwing myself over.
Sure I “had friends,” but what good are friends if you shut all of them out, all I ever wanted was her. I guess you could say that I was greedy and weird, but she was my sister. The people she had started hanging out with were rude and hateful towards others, they took her from me. I wanted her back.
I dated a lot to rid my mind of her, but she would never leave my mind. I cried gallons every week, but I was to weak to ask for forgiveness. So after not being close at all for over a year I am laying in bed writing this in hopes that she will read it and know that I want to be in her life again…
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With that addition to my book I closed my laptop and I was off to the studio to record a new song for the band. We had just started recording a new song, but it was my lifelong dream to write a book, even if I didn’t sale any copies. The new song was about love, even though I don’t believe in love I didn’t want to make anyone mad. I have enough hate from fans as it is, being the only girl in a band of hot guys kind of puts a target on your back. I was just the drummer, nothing big.
Jay, Kai, Mark, Ash, and I made up the small band of Tight Space, Mark came up the name. We were a small tight knit group, Jay and Kai were the front men, while Mark and Ash were just here to make music they wanted to listen to. I was pulled in by the head manager…
While the guys were always getting attention and love from the fans I would stay in the house and listen to the radio as I read or sang along. I was encouraged to go out and have a drink with the guys. but that would only end in more hate from fans. You see I am sensitive so I hide my face and stay out of interviews. The guys always went out to the movies and bars so that they would have the spotlight and I was left alone.
It did get lonely in this big house made for 6 people, I was often found passed out in someone else’s bed because I missed them when they went out. I have left lots of tears on their pillows, I am thankful that they distract the fans, but I still get hate. When I read the hate tweets, comments, DM’s, and emails I can feel my confidence crumble.
I know they mean nothing, but I still want to be liked by a few people. The guys always come home and cuddle me after a night out. I know how much they love me even if it is because I write songs for them. ‘They need me’ I read the home screen of my phone, I need them too. Even though love i just a chemical our brains create to progress the human race, they are family.
