The Accident: A Josh Hutcherson Story

Chapter Seventeen

The road was deserted. Ella wondered how a hospital carpark could seem so empty. Weren't they always alive with life? Since illness never slept and all that. The car seat sat by her feet, the small baby inside gurgling and cooing. His name was Alec, Ella couldn't resist naming him that.

When she discovered the truth, Claudia left. She saw the baby's eye colour, saw a familiarity within the child and . . . and she knew. What surprised Ella was that she didn't shout, or scream, or throw things. She just shut her mouth and left without another word. Even though she hated her, Ella felt the guilt eating away inside her. She supposed it was better that Claudia found out the truth sooner rather than later but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt her.

Ella was waiting on a taxi. She knew what she was doing was wrong but it was for the better. She needed to get out of Josh's life before she ruined it anymore. She wanted to look after him, she was dying to look after him, but Josh deserved better. He deserved to have a fresh start, far from her and far from the baby It was cruel but something that needed to be done.

"Know that I'm doing this for your daddy's own good," Ella instructed. Alec blinked, looking blank and confused. "Don't look at me like that, Josh deserves better than me. And even if he loves you, with all of his heart, I'm taking you away for his own good. We'd be a burden on him, you see. He doesn't think we are, but we are. And since we're the ones who recognize this we have to be the ones who walk away. Because I know Josh and he won't walk away."

Alec blinked, his big hazel eyes shining in the afternoon sunlight.

"I'm not leaving him on his own. Your uncle Connor arrived last night and will be with him for the rest of the recovery." Ella's throat hurt but she swallowed hard to get rid of the pain it caused. She stroked Alec's tender cheek with her knuckle. "Mummy just wants daddy's life to be good. She doesn't want to poison it with her bad luck and dirty lifestyle."

The taxi pulled up and she sighed, picking up the car seat and adjusting it to the backseat. Ella shut the door and glanced back at the hospital, every fibre of her being wanting to grab the car seat and run back in, to the top floor, to where Josh was. "Goodbye, Josh," she whispered. Her voice was hoarse, fighting to crawl out from her dry throat. "I won't ruin your life anymore."

She climbed into the backseat to sit beside Alec's car seat. She planned to collect Joshua once she brought Alec to the adoption agency as it would be inappropriate to bring a baby home on a motorcycle. As the car reversed out and exited the car park, Ella looked out the window, taking one last fourlon glance at the hospital, where she was leaving the man she loved behind. 

"I love you," she whispered, before turning her back on him forever.

~xXx~

"Okay Ella, you can do this," Ella whispered to herself, holding Alec close to her chest. She paced up and down outside the adoption agency, whispering encouragements to herself as she gathered the courage to bring her baby in and give him away forever. She was so reluctant it was killing her. Alec had his fingers curled into the front of her shirt, as if telling her he didn't want to go.

Maybe she could keep him . . . She could get a job, hire a nanny to look after him while she was gone! She could move away, keeping the knowledge of who his father was close to her chest, like she had done for so long . . . But where could she go? She had some cash, her mother left her some in her will, but was that enough to support them?

No. She was being selfish. That wouldn't be fair on Alec. He deserved a better, stable life. A life where he could see his mum and dad as much as he wanted, where he didn't have to wonder where his next meal was coming from, where he didn't have to live in a damp, squalid hole just because his mum couldn't afford to support them.