U DED YET? ( a POST - MORTEM parody)

MISSING..?

"ICCHHHOOORRRR!!" 

I jumped and turned around to face non-other than MeeKari Kirakira, my long-term roommate.

Seriously tho, what caused him to scream my name that loud??

"Calm your tits bruda, I'm not deaf, you don't have to scream" I deadpanned. Slowly, (A/N: despacito-// sry not sry) I placed the book from my hand down on the coffee table gently. So that you won't meesed up the bookmark, ya know??

"ICCHHHOOORRRR, PLLEEEAASSEEE HEEELLPP MMEEE I'M GONNA DIE OMFG" MeeKari continued screaming as he ran around the living room, encircling me.

I rushed up to that kid and covered his mouth with my palm. He calmed down a little and looked at me with confusion written all over his face.

After making sure he won't break my eardrums again, I removed my hand and whispered.

"Shhhhhhh, you'll wake them up. And trust me you don't wanna-" before I could finish my sentence, a loud BANG was heard from upstairs.

"WWHHOOO IN THE EVER-LOVING FUCK IS SCREAMING AT 5 IN THE MORNING FOR GOD FUCKING SAKE!"

Time stopped as the whole terrace house was filled with silence. It was at that moment, MeeKari knew..

He fucked up.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIFEZZZ!!" I yelled to my blond-haired friend and ran far far away from the staircase.

The footsteps descending from the staircase got louder as a tall dark figure around 170cm (5'8 ft?) came into view.

MeeKari and I both hid behind a large sofa and peeked through the sides. And it was at that moment, I knew..

I fucked up.

"THISS ISS SPARTTAAAAA!!" The figure yelled and chased after us.

"AAAAaaaaAAaa FUCKING RUNNN!" We screamed as the dark figure chased after us with a pillow in hand.

We ran around the coffee table trying our best to avoid the devil with a pillow. Oh wait, did I said pillow? Nah, it's PILLOWS!

At this moment, another figure around the height of 167cm (?? ft) came down from the stairs with sluggish movement, like he just woke up from somewhere over the rainbow (?)

"Eh, what you guys... doing..?" The said-sleepy figure yawned while while rubbing his eyes.

"AAHHH, ZAPPY MOVEEEE!!" Meekari's voice reached Zaexpensive ears bit before he could react, a pillow smashed straight into his face, knocking the wind out of him.

The raven haired boy fell on his butt and slid down the stairs. Each time his butt made in contact with the stairs, an 'oof' sound was made until he reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh shit" The devil with pillows said and looked over to the poor boy sprawled out on the floor.

"Indigay! Look what you did to our poor Zappy over there!" I pointed at Zaexpensive as Meekari went over to help him up.

"Are you okay???" Meekari reached a hand out and grabbed the now fully awaken boy to stand up.

"No, I'm not okay.." He said causing the blonde to look at him with worried eyes.

"I'm Zaexpensive."

"I change my mind, you can choke" Meekari deadpanned and released the grip on the raven haired boy as he landed on his butt again.

"Ouchhh, my butt!" Zaexpansive exclaimed and winced at the pain.

"Sorry Zappy, that pillow was meant for our dear blue boy here" the other raven haired dude said and pointed towards me.

"Wtf man" I sighed and turned over to face the blonde kid who caused all this trouble in the first place.

Only to find him under the round marble table in the dining room, looking everywhere. (A/N: 所谓の“东张西望” XD)

"Hey! Meekari!" I called out to him. The said kid crawled out from his former spot and looked at me with confused face.

"The hell you yelling at five in the freaking morning??" I asked.

"Yeah! I was enjoying my sleep ya know?!" Indigay exclaimed and ruffled his messy hair.

"You've got cotton on your hair..." The shorter raven haired boy murmured and reached up to rid that cotton off his hair.

Lol, I ship.

I turned my head to face Meekari and saw the kid had tears in his eyes.

"Waaaaaaahhhh" the blonde kid cried and hugged me.

"Yoooo! Wtf ?" I stood there as my clothes did its job being the 'tears absorber'.

"Kid, ya gonna flood this house with those tears" Indigay said and patted his head. That's how Indigay comfort people even though he said it like that.

"What happened tho?" Zaexpensive asked as he sat down on one of the chairs around the dining table.

Meekari calmed down and wiped the tears away. He sucked a deep breath and

"Waffle is gone!!"

......

Silence filled the room.

No reaction was given except for 'rlly niga?' face.

"No, I'm serious guys! There's something really wrong!" Meekari tried to convince us as we sighed.

"Meekari, Waffle is a smart cat. Well, TOO smart for his own kind. Besides, he always goes out for a walk every 3-5 in the damn morning." Indigay said, also pulling out a chair and sat beside Zaexpensive.

"Noo! You guys don't get it! There's still food inside his bowl!!" The blonde kid exclaimed and pointed at the cat's bowl near the corner of the dining room. True enough the bowl was full with food.

"Nah, maybe he ate too much in the evening" Zaexpensive suggested.

"Or he went outside to grab his own food. I mean... He is smart as hell" I added.

"So we don't have to worry for that lil' furball, he can handle himself" Indigay said and lazily yawned.

Meekari deadpanned and lightly glared at us.

"There's not a single shit on the floor.."

.....

It was dead quiet.

.......

"OH SHITTT WTFFF, WHERE'S WAFFLE???!"

"DUUDDEEE, IS HE KIDNAPPED???!?"

"WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WE SEE THAT FURBALL???!"

"I DID SAID I WILL SELL HIM IF HE KEPT SHITTING EVERYWHERE BUT I WAS JUST JOKING!!"

"YO! YOU SURE THERE'S NO SHIT AT ALL???!"

"BRRUUHHHH, WAFFLE SICK OR SOMETHING??!"

"AAAHH WAFFLE!! ASDFGHJKL-"

"FURBALL WHERE ARE YOOOOUU??!"

Waffle always, and when I said always, I mean ALWAYS shits everywhere and anywhere. So to find no shit at all... Well, THAT'S FREAKING UNNATURAL!

The whole terrace was shaking as we bombarded Meekari with questions while freaking out.

Meekari sighed and faceplamed.

"Now you believe me...."

(A/N: The characters belong to kiropao - - - > https://my.w.tt/UiNb/FGKjx3YcoH )