London Bridges

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by ZephyrWolfPaw

by ZephyrWolfPaw

London Bridge Is Falling Down"

How We Know It Today:

London Bridge is falling down,
Falling down, falling down.
London Bridge is falling down,
My fair lady.

We suppose it's pretty messed up to write an ode to shoddy civil engineering, but really, how bad could this be?

145481_mobile
Aside from all those suicides, nothing sinister ever happens on bridges!

What It Actually Means:

It's a song about starving children to death.

There have been a lot of theories over the years as to what the collapse of the London Bridge in the song means. Some believe that it refers toViking attacks back in the 11th century. As no documented records of such an attack on the bridge exist, however, we'll instead focus on a different interpretation: immurement. Don't know the term? Well then, here's a new reason to drink in the morning!

Immurement is the practice of entombing someone within a structure, where they slowly die from lack of food and water (not to be confused with being buried alive, where you mercifully just get to suffocate). The tradition is centuries old, based on the belief that such sacrifices would ensure the stability of the structures in which people were imprisoned.

It was thought too awful to be anything but myth, but some documented cases have been recorded: They turned up a slew of bodies within the walls of several old European structures, including castles, churches and, in the case of Bremen, Germany, at least one bridge. In other words, London Bridge is most likely a reference to the sacrifice of a child within the bridge's base to serve as an "eternal watchman."

Murdering children was the duct tape of the ancient world.

Still not convinced? There's a game that children often play while singing this little ditty, where two of them join hands to form an arch, and the others take turns running underneath until the end of the song, at which point the hands are lowered and the last child is captured within. That's right: Your kids are out there on the playground right now, practicing ritual sacrifice.

And you thought video games were teaching them some bad behavior ...