All Of The Wrong Reasons

Chapter Twelve: Ill Chosen Words

The flight to Chicago took longer than they were used to, simply because they were using a commercial airline instead of the team's Learjet. Talking about the case was out of the question with so many people around, so Spencer expected most of the flight to pass in silence. For a while, he and Morgan silently read over the case files given to them before departure. There wasn't much they could do at the moment without being able to openly discuss things, so after about thirty minutes, they put work aside. Morgan put his headphones in and Spencer entertained himself by doing a mental reread of one of his favorite books.

Once the plane touched down, the two of them were picked up by a local officer and were immediately swept up in working the case. A little boy had been found dead before he was even reported missing. It was obvious his parents were hiding something, but it was equally obvious that there was more to the story.

By 10 that night, there was nothing more they could do at the moment. They took their borrowed car and headed to Derek's mother's house. She welcomed them in, fed them dinner, and sent them to bed. They woke early the next morning so they could stop by the building Garcia had found for them. Despite being in disrepair, it was perfect for their purposes.

"I've been meaning to ask you," Derek said as they walked around the grounds of abandoned school, "how are you?" They were closer together than what was strictly professional, but it didn't faze Spencer. He was used to Derek being in his personal space; it was part of the Claim.

"What do you mean?" Spencer asked. "I'm fine."

"It couldn't have been easy going through your heat alone. I just wanted to be sure you're okay."

"I'm fine," Spencer repeated. It wasn't a complete lie. Physically he was still exhausted and achy and mentally he wasn't much better, but he was coping. It helped to have Derek around. It was like his body was drawing strength from the alpha. It wouldn't be long until he was feeling 100% himself again.

Derek looked at him for a long moment as they walked on towards their car. "You know, you don't have to..." He stopped walking and talking all at once, a hand on Spencer's arm pulled him up short next to him. "I want to Bond with you." Derek stated plainly. "I'm waiting for you to be ready. You know I would never pressure you, but Spencer, I can't wait on you forever. I don't know if you're hesitating because you're scared, or because you don't know how to tell me nicely that I'm not what you want. If it's the former, take your time. But if it's that latter, I'd whether you tell me straight out instead of trying to tiptoe around hurt feelings. Whichever one it is... I'm not going to wait forever for you to decide what you want, Spencer. You can't ask that of me."

Spencer frowned. His thoughts we're racing. This was it. This was the moment he'd always been scared was coming. The moment Derek decided Spencer wasn't worth waiting for. The moment where he would leave and tear down everything Spencer was building for himself as he did so.

No. Spencer was not going to stand here and let himself be hurt. "I never asked you to wait for me at all. I never once said I wanted to Bond with you. You filled your own head with those ideas. I was doing just fine before you barreled your way in. I was strong on my own, but you caught a whiff of an unclaimed omega and decided I had to be yours. Because you're the big strong Alpha, and Omegas exist solely to throw themselves at your feet. Well, I'm sorry I'm not the complacent little omega you wanted."

He spoke it all in a deadly calm voice that didn't once shake or fluctuate with his emotions. The air around them felt heavy and still and Spencer could only stare at the ground, knowing that meeting Derek's eyes would mean breaking down. He'd regretted the words as soon as he'd said them, but he couldn't unsay them now.

He heard Derek take a long, slow breath. "I never wanted to Bond with some complacent little omega, Spencer. I wanted to Bond with you." With those words, Derek walked away.