Hand in Hand || Stanford x Reader

Chapter 16 • You

"Those were the good times. Those bullies may have been right about us not making many friends, but when push comes to shove, you only really need one."

"I suppose this is where I first come in," I interjected.  "I met Stanford when he ran me over in the hallway."

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT." 

I didn't need to look over at him to know he was blushing.  "Accident or no, I became close friends with him afterwards.  We both had the same dream of making it big with our inventions."  I paused.  What would I say about our relationship?  I shook my head.  That was a minor detail in all this, the kids needed the facts.  "The future was looking bright, for all of us. Till one day..."

Stanley saw his cue to take over.  "It was just a normal day in science class.  Us three got called up to the principal's office, but he only wanted to see Y/N and Stanford.  Apparently, their science fair experiments were so good, scouts from the best college in the country were coming to check them out.  It was fantastic news for them, but for me, well, that meant I was getting pushed to the side.  Without Ford I was just half of a dynamic duo. I couldn't make it without him. And now, thanks to that dumb college, I was gonna lose my brother forever." 

He took a shuddering breath and continued.  "I was wondering around the school that night, and when I saw his machine, I couldn't help but slam the table.  I blamed all my problems on his invention.  The machine couldn't handle being rocked, and a part fell off.  I thought I had fixed it, but apparently not.  The judges came later that day, and Stanford's project wouldn't work." 

"Ford got angry, and pushed Y/N away.  When he came home later, we fought, and I ended up getting kicked out of the house.  You couldn't even look me in the eyes, Ford.  Thanks to one dumb mistake I had no brother, no home, no nothing. But I had a plan to fix everything."

"Let me guess," I said.  "Treasure hunting?"

"Actually, the treasure hunting business was slow, apparently gold is some kind of 'rare metal.'  So I found a different kind of gold: in sales!  But customers didn't appreciate my cheap products, like the Rip Off, Sham Total, or Stan-Vac.  I travelled all over the country, sometimes outside of it, always one step ahead of the law."

The kid with the hat - I still didn't know his name - looked like he finally understood.  "Whoa. So that explains all the fake IDs.  But, wait, what about you? Did you end up going to your dream school?"

Stanford looked away, somewhat ashamed.  "Not exactly... I attended Backupsmore University.  In a place like that, I had to work twice as hard to stand out.  Luckily, that's what I do best.  went from undergrad to PhD three years ahead of schedule, wrote a thesis that was nationally ranked, and was awarded an enormous grant for my own scientific research!  But what to study.  My whole life I'd been teased for my six fingers.  But that got my thinking about anomalies: things that were odd, unusual, statistically improbable. And according to my investigations, there was one place with a higher concentration of these things than anywhere else.  A small lumber town in roadkill country, Oregon: Gravity Falls."

"Meanwhile, your old uncle Stan was doing great. I had come up with a sophisticated new business strategy.  I was in great shape, living on my own, and the best part was: I didn't need help from nobody." 

I had a feeling he was sugar coating his situation, but I didn't press it.  "I wasn't doing so hot.  After attending West Coast Tech, things started out okay, with me starting my own business making prosthetics."  I subconsciously hid my hand in the pocket of my coat.  "After a year or so, it was extremely successful, and I was the head of it all.  But then my own board of directors, all the people I had hired personally, demoted me to a lowly office worker.  Apparently, I was an 'unprofessional leader' because I was a woman.  That was the heaviest load of crap I'd ever heard," I said bitterly.  Thirty-two years later and it still stung. 

"I was just starting out investigating the mysteries of the town," Stanford continued.  "There were anomalies everywhere!  To record my studies, I began to keep a journal-"

"AHH!  THE JOURNALS!"  The adolescent screamed.

We all awkwardly glanced at the boy.  He was a fanboy if I ever saw one.  "S-sorry, got a little excited there.  K-Keep going..."

Stanford shook his head.  "Just gonna ignore that.  But where was all of the weirdness coming from?  It seemed to be a dimension of odd leaking into our own.  I decided to build a portal, a gateway into the source.  But I couldn't do it alone.  I called up my college buddy, Fiddleford McGucket, and, of course, Y/N."

"Fidds and I accepted, and for a full two years, we worked on that cursed thing.  Stanford and I..."  I stopped.  That wasn't important.  "Finally, it was time to test it.  It worked too well, and I was pulled through.  And that's where I've been for the past thirty years," I sighed.

"After Y/N was lost, F quit the project.  Without my partners, I felt like I was losing my mind.  I called in the last person left I could trust: Stanley.  I gave him my last journal, told him to get as far away from here as he could.  We got into a fight, Stanley got branded and I got pushed into the portal as well."

Stanley sighed.  "I tried every night to bring Ford back, but without the other journals, it was hopeless.  Eventually, I had to go into town.  I was completely broke, and had no idea what to do.  Someone thought I was Ford, and mentioned that they would pay money to see what experiments I was working on.  I didn't like it, but I felt it was the only way to get back on my feet.  I crusaded as Stanford, using his name to sell tickets to the Murder Hut- later renamed the Mystery Shack."

"I heard talking! It was coming from downstairs!" A muffled voice shouted from upstairs. 

"Oh no, it's too late, the agents are comin' for us!" Stanley cried.

"I was so spellbound by your dramatic tale, I forgot all about those dudes!"

"Wait, forget. That's it! I think I know a way we might be able to defeat those agents!"  The boy pulled out a familiar gun made of copper and glass and handed it to Stanford. 

"Of course! I don't know how you got a hold of one of these but, this is perfect! If I can just amplify the signal to a radio headset frequency..."  He connected wires to it and fiddled with the dials.  "EVERYONE, GET DOWN!"

We all hit the deck as he blasted the ray through their headset.  Through the security camera, I saw the agents look around, confused. 

I smiled to myself.  Maybe things would turn out alright this time around, with the portal deactivated for good. Third time's the charm, after all.