Hell Isn't Even Hot

"Corn field number 3,578!" Trancy muttered from the seat beside me. Her pudgy seven year old face was pressed up against the car window, presumably making her look more like an obese pug than the annoying first grader she was.

Trancy's field counting was all I had heard since we had entered Kansas- back before the first Harry Potter movie was made, or at least it seemed. We had left our home in Phoenix to move to some place in central Illinois that I wasn't going to be bothered to learn the name of, because it was so much easier to call a place surrounded by this many corn fields Hell.

"..3,597.." Trancy's counting continued, and as she counted on, I was pretty sure that she was getting closer to being involved in a freak accident thatwould end up with her sitting on the side of the road, alone and to be forgotten forever.

"Trancy, shut the hell up!" I finally yelled, as she reached 3,611.

"Jensen! Put your headphones in if her counting is annoying you that much. You will not speak to your sister like that, young lady." My mom said, her voice the perfect storybook mother tone.

"Go to sleep, Karen, you're drunk." I mumbled,"Plus didn't you hear me back before we even got into Missouri? They are broke, with a capital Q."

"Jensen!" My mom gasped again,"I am not drunk and you will not call me by my name! Also, there is no q in broke, learn to spell!"

"We're almost there!" My dad announced, seeming overly excited, he seemed oblivious as to the exchange between my mother and I.

I smashed my face against the window in a similar fashion to Trancy, but compared to her while doing so, I looked like someone hot, Megan Fox, maybe? But the hotness vanished as we entered town- it was something out of a storybook, mostly spot houses , with neatly trimmed lawns. Wait, lawns? Lawns meant grass, and grass was mainstream, like ew.

Suddenly, my dad pulled into a driveway, and as I looked at the house, identical to about twenty billion others, I froze in terror- this couldn't be it, and if it was? I was in the definition of Hell.