life

chapter 1: me

"oh my god, Nancy! look at your shoe!" Nanna giggles as we are walking out of the restaurant.

'what about my sho- oh." Nancy says whilst looking down at her shoe giggling along with Nanna. I stay silent and fiddle with my fingers, trying to avoid eye contact with the people look towards our little seen. negative thoughts ran through my head once again, this has been happening lately. every time i have attention put on me i tend to freak out and wonder what the people staring at me are thinking. are they bad, or random people thoughts that people have when they make eye contact with a random person they ran into? Nancy reaches down and unsticks the napkin that was attached to the bottom of her shoe and throws it into the nearest trash can.

My family doesn't know about my problem. sometimes they will ask if i was okay if i was fiddling to much or hyperventilating randomly. the thing is, no one actually knows about it. except the counselor at my school. school had just started and I have already been to her office twice. she says that i just might have depression, or it is just hormones because of my age. ever since i started school back it had just been worse. every night around 10 or 11 o'clock i would randomly start crying and think about all of the bad and depressing memories i have had. when i would go to school, during class, i would try not to break down for no reason. this would even happen when I see things that remind me of my past. i would wake up in a whole different place and have no idea what has happened in the real world.

"Jada, would you like to ride home with me? Nanna asked me snapping me back from thought.

"sure." is all i could croke out. my troute must be dry because Nanna looked at me in confusion but kept her mouth shut. i followed my party of 11 out of the door and we all headed to our cars and headed different ways. I wiped out my phone and started to read some Phanfiction.

"hey, Jada, do you want to know what the house I grew up in looks like?" Nanna ripped me out of my book and asked me. My Pappa was in the car too so i guess he suggested it because it was his first owned home.

"okay" i spoke loud enough to where they could hear me. the car pulled onto a narrow road to a little neighborhood. we slowed down beside the house and stared at it. the family living in it now was outside so we did not stop. the house was a basic two story house painted white.

after the slight stop to nannas childhood house I zoned back into my book and imagined if i was actually part of it. just for once I wish i could pick a favorite book and just live in it. I would not have to worry about my past and just focus on what could be good in the future. but apparently I do not have powers and I can not and never do that. actually I wish had a chance to write my own book before entering this world. i mean, i did not sign up to live miserable. or even live. if i had the chance I would definitely choose that.

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did you like this first chapter? i really hope you did. I know this chapter is a little short but I will make sure to make it longer next time. before I continue this book means so much to me. the reason is that this book is actually true and is about myself. now please like and read my book and follow my other account and feel free to follow this one as well .

stay street, stay alive, love you-JJ

word count: 663