Bleh ||Rant Book||

Ashton Irwin Twitter Hate 4/10-4/12

Okay guys it's like 5am so this is probably going to suck, but I can't sleep.
So I got a twitter yesterday after seeing some incriminating tweets about Ashton Fletcher Sexy Motherfucking Irwin over Instagram. They were telling him to cut again. Not only was this a HUGE trigger for me, but anyone who has ever self harmed EVER and has been clean is on the fence of relapse their entire fucking life. First hand experience right here. Ask anyone you know that has self harmed. That is their truth.
So I doubt it, but what if he relapsed?
Also there was this picture I'm sure you guys have seen it, it reads "Down the road not across the street" It was sent in a DM to MICHAEL INNOCENT MOTHERFUCKING CLIFFORD with the caption of "Tell Ashton how to cut"
For those of you who don't know the difference cutting down the road is vertical up your arm and will kill you. Across the road is horizontal and won't kill you if you don't pop a vein or something. I've never gotten to that point thankfully.
There was also this picture of a cut up raw meat slab telling him to keep cutting until his arm looked like that. That personally was the biggest trigger of them all for me.
So I'm just watching Glee (The Quarterback so I'm already crying and depressed) and then it's on a commercial and I'm innocently scrolling through my Instagram feed when I see that and I start fucking bawling. Like screaming big fat ugly tears because in that moment the voices came back and I knew if I couldn't call someone my clean streak would be gone a lot earlier than the start of school Monday.
So not only when you do that do you fuck with him, you fuck with the fans too. I was almost sent into relapse. Do you realize how bad that is?
Now I personally do think that Ashton used to self harm and it makes me cry to say this. But for the longest time he was always wearing the bracelets on his arms and maybe he just likes to accessorize I mean Luke does it too he wears bracelets a lot. It doesn't mean he self harms.
Also I think this because of the butterfly doodles because I don't think someone would care so much as to take the time to draw a butterfly on your arm if they hadn't known someone who self harmed on a personal level or if they hadn't experienced it first hand.
Another reason is because like where the hell do you even get that from? Like why target Ashton specifically? While I will make it my duty to kill anyone who ever does this, it would be ALOT easier to target Michael. So why Ashton? Why not Calum or Luke? As much as I hate to admit it, they must have something to go off of.
The last and biggest reason why I think he might have done it before is because NOT ONCE did he deny it. He even subtly hinted that it was true.
This whole situation just literally pisses me off in every way possible. I love you Ashton.
-xx