The Idea Of You

At First

I remember the wind outside being especially awful that day. And that the stain on my most comfortable hoodie wouldn't come out and I wore it anyway.

I also remember my stomach had been turning all morning because I was upset about something that I couldn't change.

I've always had a bad habit of doing that. It's always something I have wanted to change about myself. I could worry or guilt myself sick over something I would never be able to do anything about.

But that morning it was because I thought I had fallen in love with my best friend. I had been through that a year before and it ended horrendously. I knew I couldn't lose this friend. So I shoved it down and talked to you about it. I can't say I regret I did, but I wish sometimes it would have turned out differently.

Sometimes, it is best to hide something than show it and hurt the ones you love.