I know what I'm doing is wrong. I know deep down that I should stop but something inside is telling me to carry on. What's the point anyway? All I'm doing is providing someone with the ignition, it's up to them if they decide to set it alight. About six months ago my boyfriend Brooklyn introduced me to some pretty amazing things, drinking, drugs and smoking. Don't get me wrong, given the choice I would end it all, it was never something I wanted to do, it just sort of...happened. I'm trapped, and alcohol is my only escape. Now, six months down the line, here I am caught up in this mess I don't want to be a part of. I want out but I also know that's not a possibility.
For some unknown reason, I have essentially been put in control of this deal, it's my biggest one yet. I've got absolutely no clue why I'm in charge, all I know is that I can't screw this up.
As i stand here waiting down this cold, dark alleyway I can't help but wonder where I would be right now if I had stayed clear of the wrong crowds and wrong people, and what I'd be doing with my life. I'm trapped in my own mind with absolutely no way out. I'm completely and utterly consumed by my thoughts and no matter how much I want it to stop, it just won't. My subconscious wont allow it, won't allow me to be happy because I don't deserve it.
Quickly, I place the package behind the trash can where they told me to leave it, draw the strings of my hoodie and begin to walk away in the dark.
I find the night peaceful, it helps me to think. Darkness is my way of hiding from the truth and for that I cannot thank it enough. Suddenly, I am snapped away from my thoughts when I hear the faint wailing of police sirens in the near distance, wondering what is going on, I turn around and begin to head back, that is until I heard a gun shot blare, with that I spin on my heels and don't stop running until I get home.
I lay down in my bed assuming the worst when I hear quiet vibrations coming from my bedside. I peek at my phone screen through the corner of my eye, unsure as to wether I want to know who's calling. Against my hopes, a tear comes to my eye when I see the contact shown lit up on my phone screen, Brooklyn. I don't want to answer but I know if I don't it'll only make the situation worse. Slowly, I reach over and pick up the phone, before answering I look at the time, 2:17am and press the green button.
"You better watch out princess, you're going to pay for what you've done."
That was the night I decided to go on the run, i thought it was the best thing to do, not only for me, but for everyone.
