Always In My Heart (The Walking Dead)

Chapter 8

'Morning, ' I said as I wandered into the yard of the prison. I got some funny looks but I guess it was cause I hadnt been outside or walked around for this long unaided in months. ' You're up early,' Rick said, and I noticed that only me, him, Carol and T-Dog were awake. 'I suppose that being out cold for 6 months means that I'm all stocked up on sleep,' I joked, as I went to go grab breakfast.

After eating some sort of oat cereal bar, I walked back out to the yard, only to see a man I'd never seen before. He had dirty blonde hair and he was wearing prison overalls. 'Hey,' I tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned to face me. 'I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Elena,' I said, not seeing any harm in being kind. 'I'm Axel,' he replied.

'Elena, could you come help me for a sec?' Rick shouted, breaking my thoughts.

'Sure, hold on. I better go. It was, um, nice to meet you,' I smiled at Axel as he nodded back in understanding.

'What can I do, Rick?'

'Actually Elena, I don't need help. I just wanted to warn you about Axel, and Oscar. I'm sure you realised they're prisoners. Did Lori tell you that they're staying in block D?'

'Yeah. Look Rick, I've only met Axel and I don't know anything about him, but they may not be all bad. I know you're trying to keep us all safe and you're doing an amazing job, but face it. They don't have weapons and they probably wouldve killed us by now if they were going to do so,'

Rick placed his hand on my shoulder and sighed. 'You're a good kid, Elena. You're mom would be proud of you for coming this far,'. Rick smacked his lips and walked away, leaving me to think about my mom. I wonder if she is looking down on me. Running inside, I grabbed a marker and a scrap of paper and ran to my cell. Laying on my stomach on the bed, I began to write.

'Dear Mom,

Are you watching me? Are you ok wherever you are? I hope you and Amelia and Megan are safe. You've probably met some of my friends up there: Dale, Amy, Sophia, Jim, Jacqui...? I hope so. Say hi to them for me. I'm ok. Rick's doing a really good job of keeping us all alive, and Daryl is protecing me like an angel. He's got my back, and Ive got his. I have a good relationship with everyone, too. No grudges. I dream about you every night, Mom. And I think about you everyday. Stay safe,

Elena x'

I ended the message there, not writing about being unconscious, and stuffed into an empty bottle. Screwing the lid on tight and grabbing a little shovel from the table downstairs, I headed outside. Right at the bottom corner of the field, I began to dig. I placed the bottle in the hole and covered it back over with dirt, making sure no one was watching. I knew it was stupid and I'd get no reply, but I felt like writing to my mom made me connect with her somehow. Itd been about a year and a half since she passed but I still missed her so much.

As I walked back to the entrance of the prison, I heard the alarm. And the screams. Picking up my pace, I began to take out the walkers with the shovel I had. It was pretty sharp on the corners, and heavy, but it wasnt ideal. It was all I had, so I carried on going. I looked up and saw Hershel and Beth locked in a cage above the outdoor steps. Rick, Daryl, Glenn, Maggie and Michonne were shooting the oncoming walkers and Carl stood by Lori, also killing as many walkers as he could.

'What the hell happened!?' I yelled, turning to run towards Rick.

'Elena look out!' Daryl screamed as the arrow shot past my head and went straight through the brain of a walker, inches away from me.

'Thanks,' I muttered quickly as I ran towards Hershel and Beth. They had locked up the gate and were seemingly safe from walkers, so I shouted up to them from the bottom of the steps instead. 'Are you two ok?'

'We're fine,' Hershel panted, gasping for breath like myself. All this running about was making me feel dizzy.

'Where are Carol and T-Dog?' I shouted across the yard. The question was aimed at anyone, but of course no-one replied. 'And where the hell is the alarm coming from?' I covered my ears.

'There's a switch in the electrical room,' said a tall, black guy, also in prison overalls. Oscar. 'I'll take you to it,' he said, gesturing us to follow. Rick, Daryl and Glenn went ahead. 'Maggie and Elena go help Lori and Carl,' Daryl cried, as he disappeared inside the prison.

'Lori, Carl, in here!'. Maggie pointed towards a small door, and we went inside. I stayed at the back with Carl, shooting down any escaped walkers with the small handgun Maggie had given me, whilst she lead and Lori followed. 'Through here,' she called as we turned and went through another door. I began to sweat as I saw we were in the boiler room. A sudden scream for help brought me to my senses. 'Ugh Maggie this baby is coming right now!' Lori shrieked as she fell against the wall. Walkers were beginning to bang on the door, aware that their next meal was inside the room. Carl ran to comfort his mom while I hung about, making sure no walkers could get in. Another cry out for help made me turn the other way. 'What's happening!?' Carl asked as blood began to pool up all around Lori.

'Lori with all this blood I'd say you're not even fully dilated yet,' Maggie explained, panic and fear rising up in her throat.

'You have to get this baby out now! You're gonna have to do a C-Section,' Lori pleaded, falling to the floor.

If Maggie did a C-Section on Lori now she would never make it. She would bleed out, with no chance whatsoever, and we all knew it.

'No, you can't!' me and Carl yelled in unison. 'She won't make it,' I added, most likely worsening the mood.

'You have to do it, other wise neither of us will make it. Please, save my baby,' Lori was begging now. She was willing to sacrifice herself for her unborn child. But what about Carl, and Rick?

'You see my old scar? From when I had Carl? You're gona have to cut into that,'

'Mom no!' Carl was on the floor, next to Lori now.

'Now Carl, you can't panic ok. You can't zone out or leave alright? You're dad needs you, and so does your little brother or sister. You be brave now ok? Tell your dad I love him, and I love you so much too. You were the bet decision I ever made. I'm sorry I cant watch you grow up, just know that I'm always here and I know youre gonna have a beautiful life, ok? I'm sorry Carl,' Lori's words hit like a big red bus. Carl was slumped over her, and with one final scream of terror, the baby was out and Lori was gone. Just like that.

'Come on baby, cry for me,' Maggie said softly, patting the new child's back. Both her, myself and Carl were in tears now. 'Cry goddammit!' Maggie yelled, wiping her tear stained face with a bloody hand. Cry, little one. Come on. Yes. We breathed a sigh of relief as the baby began to cry. Wrapping the girl in Lori's shirt, Maggie began to edge upstairs.

'What about mom? She's gonna turn,' Carl stopped us all in our tracks.

'Carl I'm so so sorry but you're gonna have to...' Maggie explained, glancing towards Carl's gun. No. He wouldn't. But he had to. Its what I had to do for my sisters.

'Carl, she wouldve wanted you to. She'll understand,' I cried, over the baby's cry and the whirr or the boiler. Maggie continued up the stairs and I swung the door open, shooting down the three walkers that were at the other side. A single gunshot startled me and Maggie and we went back out to the yard, Carl following, in shock. Bursting through the main prison door, we slowly walked in to join the others. After a few worried glances, Glenn ran to comfort Maggie, I wandered up to Daryl and Rick walked over to Carl. 'Mom? Lori? My wife?!'' Rick screamed, tears and sadness making his voice distorted. Carl shook his head. 'No!' Rick suddenly bolted off to the left. Carl collapsed in a heap on the floor and once again Maggie and me burst into tears.

So no Carol, no T-Dog and no Lori. Carl and his new sibling were motherless, and Rick had lost his wife. And watching it all just brought back the pain of my family's death.