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Have you ever wonder that if there was a time you fell in love with someone who was also secretly loving you?
"We are just friends and that's it.
I know that by every bit.
But a girl in love cannot stop hoping
For a love that is as everlasting
Does those actions have meaning?
Or am I just assuming?"
"What are you doing, Lara?" She immediately closed her notebook to hide what she was reading as she turned around to see her friend, Ren, who was also her workmate in that company they are currently affiliated with.
"Wala lang, to. Hahaha." Pilit niyang tawa.
"Hmmm." React ni Ren at halatang-halata na hindi ito naniniwala sa kanya. Tiningnan niya ang notebook niya na nakasara ng mga oras na iyon. All she can do is read the poems she once written years ago because she knows that she'll never have the chance to give them to the person who's making her write all those words.
Finally, Lara is now own her way home. She cannot help it. She just keeps on finding herself thinking about him lately.
"To me, you were so kind
Someone that's hard to find.
Can't help it but still denying
The fact I was really falling."
Habang nakahilata sa kama niya, she knew. She always knew that she loves him more than a friend does.
All those smiles, all those laughters, all those memories they had, she will always treasure it all. She will never forget.
"There are so many things in my mind
That tears fell instead of being fined."
Geez, she always thought it was really unfair, but is there something she can do about it?
"Like saying why cannot it be us?
Or it is nothing to discuss?
I was fine just being your friend.
Someone you can always depend
As long as I am by your side
Even these feelings have to hide
Like I said, I am prepared.
Some are not to be declared."
Being his friend was always been enough for her. All she wished for was that she was given the chance to tell him how she really feels. She closes her eyes as the tears starting to fall again. "If only,"
~
"Asan ka na?" Text ni Elijah sa kanya.
"Papunta na po. Wait lang. Huwag kang hot." Reply niya kay Elijah. He was currently admitted in a private hospital and she was on her way there. Elijah was her friend who she secretly loves. She never had the courage to tell him what she feels for she was afraid to lose their friendship. They've been friends for years now.
Nagvibrate ulit ang cellphone niya. Alam niyang si El na naman ang nagmessage. Ito lang kasi ang nag-iisang ka text niya. "Bilis. :D"
Wala siyang kaalam-alam kung anong dahilan nang pagka-admit ni El sa hospital and that's what she's about to find out but she never expected what was waiting for her. Pagkadarating niya sa hospital, she was surprised to know that El's room was an ICU. She was starting to get nervous. As she walks towards the said room, her heart was rampaging in her rib cage and one final turn, she saw the room where El was admitted and a commotion was present. She can hear someone's sobs. Her mind went blank. She saw Elijah having seizures. "What's happening? What the hell is happening?!" Questions filled her mind and then she heard that annoying sound. It was making her ears hurt and tears are now falling from her eyes.
~
"Ahhh." She sat up on her bed. Kaya pala niya naalala si El, tomorrow was his death anniversary. She never knew about Elijah's condition kaya may pala may mga panahon na parang bigla itong hindi nagpaparamdam sa kanya. "Geez, you made me a crybaby, El. You just left like that. You never told me anything about your condition. You just left me with that damn letter of yours, you stupid."
~
"Lara," Paglingon niya ay nakita niya ang mommy ni Elijah. She was handling her a letter. "Elijah said I should give this to you if ever he cannot wait for you any longer."
"Tita,"
"I always tried to convince him of telling you about his condition but he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to tie you up with him, that's what he keeps on telling me." And then his mom left her. She opened the letter.
Dear Lara,
If napunta na sayo ang sulat na ito then I failed on telling you in person then. Sorry. I was not able to wait for you. Honestly, I have tried many times to tell you actually pero duwag ako, eh. I cannot tell you that I only have days to count until I die. I always have been weak physically and mentally, Lara but when I met you, I wanted to change that. I actually succeeded changing myself but my body cannot hold on any longer. It was too late. I am really grateful I met you. Being with you for the past year makes me believe in life again. I had the best year of my life because of you. Thank you. I love you, Lara and I am sorry for telling you this in this way.
Eternally yours,
Elijah
~
That's why she thought it was really unfair. He was her love of her life but she never had the chance to tell him that for she let her fear ruled over her and she regretted it.
This is the reason why you should never let days passed by without doing the things you can do. If you can tell them you love them, tell them. If you can let them know how important they are, let them know. Appreciate every single time you have with them for you can never turn back time. Time is the best gift one can give. Seize every moment and make them a memory you cannot forget for you will never know if that's the last one you'll get.
~ The End
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