What'd You Think?

Chapter Seven

Jon hides the test and walks out to the living room. He looks for Evan, who has fallen asleep on the sofa. What shall he do next? Tell Evan? Hell No. What would Evan even think? Evan doesn't know Jonathan is trans yet. There was nothing to do, nothing Jon could think of. He'd just have to hide it until he was showing too much, but would Evan get mad? Leave him? The thoughts turn into tears in his eyes. Jon sobs loudly and Evan stirs on the couch. Jonathan immediately leaves the living room and goes to his "gaming" room. 

He sniffs up the tears and walks into his room, but not towards his desk. Towards a black object that's so sleek it looks like someone could swim in it. Pale hands reach for the object and lift up a small part of it, revealing 88 keys. The baby grand piano was something Jonathan hasn't touched in a while. When his mother died it brought him peace. She'd always sit with him and play different songs with him. Jonathan runs his fingers down the keys, memories hitting him like a brick. The clown closes his eyes and reminiscences.

His mother sits at the large piano in the corner of the 80's styled living room. Its his grandmother's house, because everything looks expensive. And he isn't a little boy, he's a little girl. The 9 year old Jon spots her mother and wonders over to her. The tune she's playing starts out soft. Jon stands beside her now, watching her fingers slowly get faster with the pattern. Her heart is pumping with the joyous sound of the piano being played. The 9 year old sits at the piano with his mother her long hair swinging as she does. She smiles as Jon puts her hands over top of her's. She goes slower with the melody and sways back and forth with the tune. Jon loves the feeling of her fingers moving with the tune. 

Jon is now 13 and is sitting at the piano beside her mother, the tune is slower now. The blue eyed girl follows her mother's hands, getting the tune down one step at a time. Her larger hands stumble over some of the chords. Her mother smiles at his frustration, but she continues, she doesn't give up. Just like her mom never did. 

Jonathan is now 18 and sitting at the piano, he's able to play the whole song. His fingers slide gracefully over the keys. His eyes are closed and there's a small smile across his face as he plays. His mother is behind him. She covered in layers of sweaters and she's shaking. She looks like she's just bones and skin. Jon keeps playing and his mother's eyes weld with tears. The mug of coffee in her hand shakes with every tear that drops. 

Jonathan is now 25 and can play with melody as easy as pie. He's visiting his mother. She rocks in a leather recliner as he plays the song with passion. His heart explodes with so much feeling as his fingers hit each black or white key. The grown man smiles at his mom and stops playing. They smile lovingly at each other. His mother loved him no matter what. When he came out as trans they just hugged and she said, "Who cares, I still love my little baby." His mother nods for him to continue playing. The beautiful noise flows through his mother's older ears. She closes her eyes and just listens. "I love you Jonathan." She says right before she starts violently shaking and coughing. Jon stops, but in the flashback the piano is still playing and the song is tense. "MOM!" He screams and grabs her. She was sick for a while, but she never told Jon. 

His mom was in the hospital and he blamed it on himself for not looking at the details of her body and taking her to the doctor. She was in the hospital for a long time. Jon grew lonely and depressed and the only one around was Luke. He started YouTube and met great people, and his mom was happy as well. 

The piano melody gets worse as Jon turns 27. He gets a call from the hospital in the middle of the night and the news is horrific. The man speeds to the hospital just in time. His mom lay in the bed like a skeleton. Tears instantly stream down his face. "Jonathan, my handsome boy, remember to always reach to the sky. I love you my sweet prince." The machine goes and Jon clings onto his mother. "I love you Mom..." The tune his mother played was called To the Sky. 

Back to reality the 30 year old man is sitting on the bench of the piano. Tears streaming down his face he starts to play.  He can feel his heart beat, but also break. With every move of the piano his head moves along with. He drifts into a whole new world and forgets about everything, him being pregnant, Evan being the father, the little girl he lost in the fire, his mother, all of his friends, everything. Jon imagines himself in a field of pastel blue tulips. The sky is a beautiful blue, and the breeze is just right. His thoughts already start to wonder. Without any sign his mother appears beside him, leaning against the piano. She's in magenta summer dress, the dress she wore before Jon or any of his siblings were born. She looked so young and beautiful. His mother stares at him as he plays. She says nothing when he stops and stares at her. His heart is beating out of his chest. "Mom-?" She stops him with a smile, "Tell him Jon." 

"Tell who Mom?"

"Evan."

"How do-?"

Her smile grows, "He loves you Jon, he'll love you no matter what, and I'm sure he'd be excited to be a father." 

"Won't he freak out?"

"He just needs explaining to Jon."

"Can't I wait?"

"Jonathan..." His mother uses her strict motherly tone. The tone he'd die for to have again. 

"And because I'm the grandmother I recommend you tell him sooner or later, or he might lose his trust in you Jon."

"I'll tell him Mom."

"You must tell him soon Jon, before he figures it out himself." His mother looks secretly around, "Now my handsome boy, I must get going, before your prince wakes." She smiles as Jon gets off from the piano and squeezes his mother. "I love you, Mom." 

"I love you more..." Mother turns into thousands of magenta colored butterflies and disappears into the distance. 

"Delirious?" Jon snaps back into the dark blue colored room with the computer set up and the baby grand piano. The voice soothes him. "Delirious? Delirious?! Are you okay?" Evan wraps his arms around the crying raccoon. His eyes red instead of yellow like the silly mask. 

"Evan... I'm not okay..." The brown eyes fill with concern. 

"What's up? I'm here, always." Jonathan can hear his mother chanting, "Tell him! Tell him!" Jon slightly smirks, "I've got a story to tell you my love..." 

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