Our Past. (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

Our Past.

2008

I looked in the mirror. I'm dressed and ready to go out. I just need something to get me high. I need this very badly. My one bedroom apartment seemed just too small for me tonight, so I am going out to have some fun. More fun than usual hopefully.

"You ready yet?" Max Green, a friend of mine, yelled as he banged on the door.

"Almost." I called back as I checked myself in the mirror for the millionth time.

I lit a cigarette and searched for my pills. They are in a small mint tin somewhere around here.

Ronnie Radke, the guy I've grown up with, walks in.

"What's taking so long?" he asked just as I spotted the mint tin on my bedside table.

"Pills." I answered and shock the tin. "I wanted something before we headed out."

He flipped on the bed as I crushed up the pills  on the table with the bottom of a cup and made two generous lines for us.

We snorted them up and then I looked at myself in the mirror once again.

I feel hopeless. I just lost my job, I'm about to get kicked out of my apartment, I can't stop getting drunk an high, and my band is going no where because we all are spending our time partying. So yeah, I feel a bit shitty.

"I could always do porn, right?" I joked as I smoothed out my shirt.

Ronnie laughed, and I smiled at him.

"You aren't going to be that desperate. You can crash with Max and I when your rent is up for this month." He reassured me.

"And I can always get another job." I said shrugging.

"Why don't you just work on the band instead?"

"Every gig pays off our tab at the bars for the week. That's why we do what we do." I smirked. "We aren't serious. I mean, we should be. Our music isn't shit and MySpace loves us, but it won't be what I'm doing for the rest of my life."

"You still plan still to marry rich?" he laughed.

"Marry rich, die young." I winked.

I grabbed my phone and wallet. I slipped them in my short pockets and turned off my stereo.

"Let's go do what we do best, fuck up our future." I dragged him out the door.

The club is vibrating from the loud music and filled with hot air and cigarette smoke. I am hanging off Ronnie's arm. We aren't dating. I won't let that happen. He's a player. I love him, but now isn't our time. I usually hang around him because he has connections.

"Hey Juliet." Someone waved.

I waved back. I have a bad problem of forgetting names to faces, but not many notice.

"My dear Juliet." Ronnie playfully whisper-sang into my ear.

I laughed and shook my head.

Max isn't looking like he's having much fun.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I'll tell you later." He nods to the bar. "Let's get some drinks."

The rest of the night is a whirl. We drink a lot, dance with strangers, chat with friends, and have a great time. Three AM Max and I returned to my place while Ronnie goes home with some girl. It hurt to see that, but it's fine. I'll get over it. I always do.

"So." I said a little drunkenly. "Why are you so upset?" I said pouring us drinks while Max pulls out the box of cold pizza in my fridge.

"I had a meeting with management and the band earlier today." He said looking at down at his worn out converse.

"Ronnie didn't say anything about a meeting." I said confused. That's something I would have heard about.

"Yeah..." He nodded.

It clicked together.

"Max... hat was this meeting about?"

"They said if Ronnie doesn't clean up his act, sober up a bit, and be nice to his parole officer then he's out of the band. We can't tour. We can't go out of state. We can't do anything."

"Max... you can't let that happen. If Ronnie can't be in a band nothing will keep you afloat."

"I know." He nodded.

Three knocks came on the door and Ronnie walked in.

"She was a tease." Ronnie laughed. "Decided to come back to my wifey and brother." He smiled.

I smiled weakly back. It had always been a joke that I was just like a wife, so I had gotten the nickname wifey.

"Pizza?" I handed him a slice out of the box.

He's so drunk he doesn't notice the awkwardness between us all. I hide my worry, settle down the boys, put Max down on the couch, and have Ronnie crash in my bed. I stay up watching TV, smoking, and thinking. Eventually, Ronnie pulls me in the bedroom.

"You need to sleep." He mumbles.

"So do you." I point out.

He chuckles and lays down, bringing me down with him.

"Maybe we could have a little fun before we fall asleep?" He chuckles. 

I sit up and lean over to kiss him. He smiles into the kiss and plays with the bottom of my shirt. We have always had fun together, but after I fall asleep worrying about whats going to happen when the fun stops being fun and reality comes down on us.