Life Is Grim

{1}

~Chapter One~

|Salem's P.O.V.|

"Salem. Salem honey you need to wake up"

What the?? What time was it? I groaned and sat up still groggy and tired from my previous night's rest.

My mom's face turned from happy and kind to one of disgust confusing me until she pointed down.

I followed her eyes down towards my erm lower region and that's where I saw the problem. I was naked for starters but not only naked, I was 'awake' if you catch my drift. Talk about a humiliating start to the day. I tried to force the annoying dark red blush from dusting my cheeks, my mom would tease me to no end about that once I got a girlfriend. That is if I ever got one.

"You're saluting me, Salem. Do you mind?" She asked covering her eyes with her hand stating the already mortifying obvious. Thanks a lot, mom.

Uggghhh why does morning wood have to exist? Even when you're technically dead? Like shouldn't I get a get out of jail free pass? It's so embarrassing

I should probably explain myself here, I'm Salem Cross. Ironic name if you think about it but I'm stuck with it. You see my parents are grim reapers, actually, they're the most respected grim reapers which also means that I am dead and so are my parents (shocker I know) and my twin sister, Raquel. I also have been dead for quite a long time. I was actually alive and living at one point (as was my sister). Alive enough to you know shit my pants in front of the girl of my dreams, show off my undeveloped boy part to anyone who would even set foot in my house. Oh, and wet the bed. You know kids stuff. Then when me and Raquel turned the tender age of 12 we passed on. And since we are descendants of reapers I didn't go to heaven or hell I go where normal dead teenagers go, the Academy of Death. Original name I know but it's pretty cool we got all kinds of weird ass beings here from Wendigos, to Hybrids, to the dreaded Vampires (hate them with a passion) and the wannabee Werewolves (Also hate them with a passion, don't know how to chill the fuck out). Here we learn about what we've become and how to live with it.

"Salem, you have to get ready for the new year!!" My mom squealed with excitement, thankfully I had covered up my 'little friend' and everything else that was exposed. But I still really had to use the restroom and I'm sure my mom was not going to end with that squeal of excitement. And I didn't have to pee either, yeah talk about awkward.

"Mom" I whisper feeling a sharp pain in my abdomen stating that I needed the toilet now. Yes, I still use the restroom even though I'm dead I kind of have some human qualities, unfortunately. Can't all have what we want. "Can we have this chat later? I need to um...use the loo?"

"Okay sweetie, but you might want to put on some clothes first and take care of that little problem of yours. I can't believe you and Raquel are going to be 17 this year. I can remember you having diaper rash the first week we brought you home and-"

My ears turned red at the mention of a very uncool moment for me. I was about to make a comeback when I felt that force. The I need the toilet right now and there is no waiting force. Fuck! I'm naked and I have a freaking hard on, how am I supposed to? Oh, I got it! My cloak!

Concentrating I quickly was able to bring the black long fabric over to me without any problems. My mom had now disappeared (thank god) and I was on my own and really needing to go. I quickly slipped the cloak on and made sure to cover all my bits so no one got a glimpse, well my mom got a free shot, but I didn't need my sister seeing it, much less my dad. I'd never live it down. When you're little it's okay cause you know you're like a baby but at this age, it's completely mortifying.

I made it to the restroom just in time and quickly shut the door behind me. Just as I sat down on the porcelain thrown to release a knock sounded on the other side of the wooden door.

"Seriously! I'm trying to shit here! Who is it?!" I yell irritated. Like seriously, can a dude not get any peace when trying to accomplish a very important mission, if you get what I mean.

"Salem, You need to hurry you have like 15 minutes man or dad's leaving your ass!" Came the voice of my twin sister.

My eyes widened. How was I....?

"Tell dad I'm trying to you know to produce something from my rear end and it's going to take me a little bit. "

As if on cue a loud echo sounded through the bathroom as I let out the loudest fart ever. I heard Raquel laugh from the other side of the door.

"Man, you are so easy to prank"

I clenched my teeth in pure anger and my palms turned to fists at my sides.

She didn't....

She knows what happened last time.

And the first day of school seriously!

FUCK ME.

X

First chapter! Sorry if it sucked it's currently 2 in the morning and I feel like shit but I really wanted to start this and get it up. I might edit the description when I wake and fix this up a little bit. Hope you enjoyed none the less and thanks for reading or voting! And thank you to everyone that has followed me! 

Peace!

-Alix ;3