Thinking is a Crime

1: Huh.

I walk down the halls with the books from last period in my hands. Some people smile and greet me as they walk by me, while others just keep looking straight forward, trying to not look at anyone in the eye as they pass. I try to smile and wave at everyone until I'm able to get to my purple locker.

I turn the combo using one hand with ease, opening the locker. My best friend comes by taking all the stuff she needs for the next class. I smile at her.

"Hey you," Jess says, hugging onto her English books. "Your gonna hang out after school tonight right? We have to beat that boss this time."

"We beat the boss every time. You just want to get that special prize bonus if we kill it while.."

"Your point is? Are you coming over or not?"

"Just us two?"

"Promise."

"Then you know it. I just wanted to tease you a little bit." I wink, grabbing the same books. Almost right as I closed our locker, the bell rings, telling us we're gonna be late.

Thank God Mr. Smith is always late.

"Don't be late again! Slow poke!" Jess starts to sprint down the hall.

Oh no she didn't.

I start to chase after her, tripping on my own feet.

Classy there, Willow. For someone who runs really fast, you sure know how to be a klutz.

I fall straight on the laminate tile floor, spreading my books and papers across the halls.  Just as the tardy bell rings.

Yup. Looks and sounds like how my life has been going so far.

I stand up slowly, because there's no point on hurrying now that I'm late. Even if I did say something.

I brush my jeans with my hands, though no dirt ended up on my pants. I walk straight for my Chemistry book first, bending down to pick it up. Just as I put my hand on it, a familiar voice asked if I was okay.

I look up. I see some bright blonde shaggy hair, and a pair of bright blue eyes piercing at mine.

Kannon.

I grab the book while I stand up, smile, and nod. "Oh, absolutely. Just tripping like usual."

The boy laughs, showing off his unnaturally perfect white teeth.

Kannon dated Jess Freshman year, for what I believe for about a month.

They dated once before then, but I wasn't even in the same state during that time.

The boy bends down, brushing off his expensive looking light washed jeans, and helps me pick up all my work.

Very beginning of second semester of Senior Year and I'm definitely already making a fool of myself in front of the boy I can't help but stare at.

"So," Kannon starts, "Please tell me your next class is Foods II." Wiggling his eyebrows.

Well, I think he's wiggling his eyebrows. Kind of hard to tell with the shaggy bangs covering his entire forehead.

I chuckle. "You betcha!"

" Good Willow-Beth. We get to be partners again." He smiles as he hands me the last pack of papers.

That's right. The boy and I became friends. When Jessi and Kann started dating again, I actually got pretty close with him trying to keep the relationship together. In hind sight, if they can't communicate from the very beginning without an outside person, I probably should've known it wasn't gonna last. They decided to stay friends though, so all was well.
 We ended up partnering up in beginners foods class last year, and got even closer. That's when Jess started dating a dude named Stephan (Ugh. I hate that spelling. 'PH' does not make a 'V' sound.), and I'm quite sure she knows that I have a slight crush on the guy, but I'm not going to do anything about it.
Also, not sure how he got to the point where if he talks to me, it's always my first and middle name. Don't know how that started, but he refuses to go at it any other way.

I smile back, and run to my class.

->*<-

"I can't believe that we don't get to be partners," I state, looking down, disappointed since that seems to be the only time I have an excuse to be around the boy.

"I know it, but I'm sure that we'll have more than enough time to talk to each other during class." Almost as if Kannon is trying to calm down my nerves that are hard to see.

Listen, when you have three brothers and a Marine dad like me- you kind of know more on how to handle the way they think then the average girl. Sounds bad, I know, but that's just how I was raised.

Since that was the last class of the day, I go and meet up with Jessi in our normal spot; by the lockers. Stephan is right next to her, smiling from ear to ear while holding onto her hand. Jess is pretty blanked faced... which isn't normally like her, but I'll try to bring that up as soon as I'm alone with her.

"Ready to go?" I ask Jess.

"Sure am! C'mon Stephan," Stephan follows, making a remark about how he never follows, only lead.

For someone that at first was real sweet.. I'll just stop now before I go on a tangent.

Wait.

He's coming with?

"J, I thought it was just going to be us two this time round." I mentioned, trying to remember her to stick to her word.

"I know... I just forgot that we already made plans." Jessi looks at Stephen with a sincere small smile.

I give up, knowing how these conversations seem to go every time that J and I hang out anymore.

" Okay, well, let's get to the car and I'll take you guys home."

->*<-

Well, after about fifteen minutes of trying to beat that boss, Jess and Stephan went from making out, to a scream match that I was not allowed to defend my high school best friend on (per Jessi), that I ended up just telling her I'd see her tomorrow.

I go straight into my station wagon, buckle my seat belt, and take my ten minute drive home through the country in silence. Which, I'm more than aware is not a very long time, but it sure did seem long when I feel like I'm slowly losing the friend that we did everything with.

For the past year and a half of those two dating, I have seen J's person deteriorate. She used to be so much more powerful, confident, and selfless. This boy has taken a lot of who she is and changed it to his own benefit.

He has continuously made either rude comments, pushed her worth to help his own self-esteem, or not letting Jess do things that she used to love.

For example, who doesn't allow a girl put on makeup? Especially in front of the public? There was a couple times that if she did, there would be a huge spitting match of Stephen saying that he demands her to take it off- or he'll leave her right then and there, leaving her stranded. Man oh man.

Pardon my language, but what the heck. Who in the right mind does that?

I may be a weird one for only dating two people so far, but these kids don't even seem to know how to treat a friend, let alone a partner as far as I can tell.

I just plan on keeping my way towards the narrow path. My parents have blessed me throughout my entire life of showing me God, and that He will be a constant as long as I let Him. He will show me my worth, that I am loved, good, and stronger with Him by my side.

Dear Lord, help me keep my head up right. Help me know when to speak, and what to say that would be worthy unto You. Let me know how to not only handle the situation with J that has been bothering me so much, but also every person in that school. Show them all what the power of the good Lord can do, and why it's so important to follow You.

In Your Son's Heavenly name I pray, Amen.