Can We Be Just Friends?

Take my hand

I was so shocked at the tone of his voice. It's like what I said was something magical or almost impossible like saying, " I'll take you to the moon". I don't know what it was but I felt like I said the right thing...it made me feel warm inside just watching his face go through a thousand emotions yet not be able to decipher any of them. 

Camila: "Shawn, Hey, are you ok?" I say waving my hand across his face

I think he snapped out of his trance but only a little bit.

Camila: "Shawn, Shawwwwwwwwn, Hey"

Shawn: "Oh, huh, yeah sorry...but wait, did you really mean it? What you said about getting to know me?"

Camila: "I don't know...Its been on my mind since forever though, so I guess its true"

Shawn: "I'm sorry, its just, no fan has ever said or seemed to want something like that...EVER. I love my fans but I seem them as this one huge thing...like they call it, MENDES ARMY. I cant tell them apart because they all seem to want the same thing, to hug me or something I don't know. No one ever said, I want to get to know you. It's different, you seem different...in a good way of course"

Camila: (in a voice barely heard) "I know I'm different" 

Shawn: "What do you mean? Are you ok? I'm sorry but did I upset you?"

Camila: "No...its just..."

Shawn: "Just what?"

Camila: "I---its a long story"

Shawn: "I want to hear it, walk with me"

Camila: "Uh...I...I..."

Shawn: "Just talk my hand and it'll be alright"

I don't know what I'm doing. Shawn Freaking Mendes wants to know about how I'm DIFFERENT. I don't get it...Why? He's there and he wants to make me feel better even though, he just met me. Even though, he couldnt finish his drink because he spilled it on me. He is giving me the chance to make my dream come true: to really get to know him. I'm scared. I'm scared that he'll run away screaming. I'm scared that I wont be enough. I'm scared, I'm afraid, I'm terrified. But most of all, I'm sick and tired of myself. I keep hiding behind this huge curtain and never come out or let anyone in. I hate how I always question myself. From now on, I'm just going to follow my heart...as much cliche as that sounds. I look at him, and he's beautiful. I can't keep living like this and I'm starting my new life now. 

I take his hand.