Aston's POV
I'm just depressed.. I've been depressed for over a month now. I miss Derek and Nathan so much I hate being alone but I have to choice to.. Yesterday I found out my friend Garrett was suicidal. I wouldn't blame him his parents treat him like shit ever still they found out he is bisexual. I feel so bad for him he doesn't deserve it he's such a great person I love hanging out with him he makes me happy. I don't think nobody can make me happy right now, being depressed for so long will take a awhile to make me happy. I hate being bipolar it makes everything worse for me some days I would be mad at myself for know reason at all what I hate is being Mad and Sad. I haven't been in my room since 3 days ago, I've been sleeping on the couch in the living room cuddling with my two teddy bears I got from the store, ones blue and ones purple I named the purple one after my best friend Alyssa and the other one after Nathan the blue one. I haven't took a shower in three days
eww I take showers every day but I just don't feel like doing anything but sit and eat I look like a totally mess if u looked at me you probably die of my ugly face.. I'm watching Adventure Time my favorite show It always keeps me happy and my mind off of things. Finn hurt Tree Trunks feelings wow lol
once Nathan comes on I'm going to tell him everything from how much I missed him all the tears hoping he will be ok how much I love him and how much he means to me, I know he loves me back. He told Derek and Hala he does.
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its been hours and I'm still depressed ha would am I not? I'm still dad about how Derek left me two days ago to Paris i cant believe he didn't tell me that's something he should have told me but I guess not. i broke someone's heart
I really hate myself I don't understand why people like? I'm not even perfect m ugly stupid and a disorder freak like come on now it makes me mad but i can care less. I'm not a heartless person hate breaking peoples heart I wish no one liked me so I would have to be mad at myself for breaking their heart it would make life easy i guess i don't know i can't type for shit.
I'm having Garrett live with me so he doesn't have to be home and I needed someone to be with me anyways being alone sucks ass. Gosh i want to phone sex Alyssa so bad lol i bet she would never did it thoooooo she is a total butthole lol I'm so funny I make myself laugh ha.
