Emotional

1 - Different, together

I found myself in a dark alley, a few buildings away from the school. It was occupation day, one most people knew was important.

I'd say people usually were excited, but no one felt anything. It was simply black and white. Good and bad. I was nervous. No one could know, or they'd title me as dangerous, different.

I felt normal, but feeling normal means I'm not normal. I'm completely different, and my life is in danger.

My best friend, Gem, and my new crush, Jay, were both in there. I wasn't supposed to have a crush, I wasn't supposed to feel infatuated with someone.

I wasn't supposed to feel love. I scolded myself many times for sometimes letting my facial expressions get the best of me.

I sometimes smiled too much, and occasionally I let my eyes show the true happiness that would sometimes be rushing through me.

As I grew older, the emotions got stronger. Happiness made me feel more alive. Nervousness made me feel sick to my stomach. Sadness made me want to die in order to get rid of the mental pain I was feeling.

I knew it was weird from the beginning. And I know I was too young when my parents told me, but I still remembered my mothers exact words as to what my mother had warned me soon after I was born.

"You are different, you are special. Don't let them see. Hide what your feeling, because you shouldn't be able to feel. But you do, and you are my little girl. I love you, but I'll be leaving soon. I love you" And then she was taken away from me.

I was whisked to some other room where they fixed me up, and put me in clean clothes. I soon heard them talking, but couldn't understand anything.

I couldn't understand anything my mother had said either, but once I could read, write, talk, and understand English, her voice and her warning had come to me in my dreams.

Most likely, the officers would hunt me down, inject the syrum, throw me into the simulation, and see how I reacted to the circumstances. They would want to see how well I reacted to being around certain people.

If I was happy, sad or nervous. They'd detect any type of feeling. Of course, humans had some feeling of happiness or sadness. But even people with the littlest amount of anger or excitement, would be killed.

I had learned my whole life to keep these emotions at bay, but they suddenly flared up when I saw Jay one day.

My hands got sweaty, my heart started pumping, and my hands became fidgety. I was nervous. I knew this fluttery feeling in my stomach meant infatuation, and the claminess of my hands meant nervousness.

I had a crush on him. I had learned about this word in 'Emotions: A History' the old book I had found in my mothers old belongings. I learned all the emotions I could, the symptoms, and the meaning of them all.

Jay, Gemma, and I became pretty close friends, and we were practically inseparable. The teacher often used us as an example of happiness. She said the more people, the happier you'll feel.

Footsteps suddenly pounding against the pavement snatched my thoughts away from me. I became nervous, and I crouched down in the shadows, waiting for them to pass.

But, they didn't pass. They stopped and turned towards me, but didn't see me. I suddenly noticed who it was, and debated whether I should step out or not.

It was Jay. Why was he running?

"Psst" I ended up calling out, and his head immediately whipped around. And then, the note my mother left me in the book made sense. It consisted of the numbers and letter, 14si6hj. I'd memorized it, in case. Hopefully he did too.