Not Yet

Wishes Upon Pain

A/N: Okay so mild warning on this chapter, it has some pretty dark themed stuff involved that will (if you so choose) read in a flashback this, story is kind of an enter at your own risk type thing, but I hope you all enjoy! ~Len-kun 

The morning passed without anymore tears, and Kyouya was grateful for that but it was starting to worry him as well. Tamaki was being entirely silent and avoiding anyone he could. Kyouya started to worry that the boy wouldn't talk to him at all, or anyone else for that matter. He moved like a ghost, be there at one moment and then gone the second after. Tamaki was quieter than he ever had been in his life and it was more irritating to the dark haired male than when he was being loud and dramatic. 'Damn this is annoying, I know he said he wouldn't speak but this is ridiculous!' He thought as he saw the blonde move towards the piano in his music room.

"Kyouya, if you could have any dream in the world come true what would it be?" He asked looking out the window off into the distance. Kyouya thought in silence, over what Tamaki would be hinting at with the question.

"I suppose I would wish that the Host Club wouldn't be in debt at all the money that is coming in would be distributed fairly to different sections. As well as-" He started but was cut off when Tamaki turned to glare at him.

"Kyouya that is the lowest thing I've heard, I'm not talking about riches, and wealth, and the flourishing of a company or business. What about the aspect of family, welfare of others and even a break from everything? What about those things?" He asked as he turned back around and gingerly putting a hand against the glass. "The importance of being together, caring for one another and helping those who need it. I wish everyone would be able to see that ideal to some extent no matter how big or small it gets in the end." He added with a downcast gaze as his hair covered lightened eyes.

'Where are you going with this Tamaki?' Kyouya asked himself trying to figure his friend out. "Of course those things are important as well, many of us seek to find the same ideals." He replied watching thee other.

'Of course, Kyouya would understand, he lost his mother. He must have longing at times for her, he just doesn't open up to anyone. My story is so twisted, everything is messed up. What is the reality of my situation exactly?' Tamaki questioned to the horizon. "I suppose, so. In France, everything was so different then when I was there last." The blonde said turning to face the other but looking over at the piano. Kyouya's eyes widened minimally, would Tamaki actually tell him without any prompting at all?

"Different how so?" He asked gently but clearly as he watched the sad smile form on pale lips.

"You've probably figured it out already but the main reason I went to France is because it was my mother's funeral. I regret not saying more to her now, not doing more things for her and I regret not being able to be there at her final moments. I was on the phone with her when she died, but that's nothing like being there in person for her." Tamaki whispered as though he was speaking to a sleeping baby. Despite him being the ever so stoic shadow king, Kyouya's eyes widened at what he heard.

'How did he play that off in school, his hurt that has been so evident didn't even show fractionally in the days before he left. The funeral explains one thing, but what about the bruises, the abuse and possible self mutilation?' He thought not being able to say anything as the two of them stood there in silence. Kyouya knew it would be stupid to try and press for details now, he was slowly getting answers to things and that was going to be how the process was. If he rushed it then it would hurt Tamaki more and he wouldn't risk harming the already too pained boy. They stood in utter silence, as they had the entire day, one in shock and one in mixed emotions of depression and longing. The only sounds was the occasional maid walking to their places of duty and the clock that ticked on the wall. Everything else seemed to have been moving, but the two kings stood frozen in time.

The silence seemed to have dragged on for hours, when really it was minutes, and then suddenly everything started moving again. Kyouya's mind worked hard to find answers without asking the other occupant in the room, he was thinking miles per second on what all was revolving around this. Tamaki felt sick, he didn't like the silence; the room was so quiet it was defining. The world around him spun into a mix of colors and shapes that he couldn't keep straight, it was as though time really had froze and now had to catch up. He found himself being thrown back into his visit to France, the entire trip played in front if him like a sped up movie. 'Why, why is everything coming back now?' He asked his mind trying to shield himself from what he only could see and knew. Backed into a corner, Tamaki only felt himself falling into a darkness as the movie continued and the screams echoed in his mind. His own screams, the screams of those around him, the cold dry laughter and harming crude smiles. Cracking of whips and jangling of chains, the feeling of the cold cement floor as he was pushed down into it. Every cry was ignored, every plea he was punished for, every wrong word meant harsher treatment and every wrong move led to bloodshed.

"What's wrong Tamaki? Are you scared of us now? What happened to that trust and friendship we shared huh?" Laughter, an unrecognized voice, a long forgotten friend. Tamaki didn't know what to say, he couldn't say anything for the hand gripping and clenching his throat was keeping him silent.

'I suppose everyone did say I always talked too much, or was too loud and obnoxious. Now they don't have to hear me at all.' He thought wondering if his friends in Japan could see him now, what would they think? What would they do? Would they turn him away as well?

"You don't seem happy to see any of us now, your pretty face has been cut oh what shall we do? Poor prince Tamaki here will probably die since his face has been marked, such a shame." Another voice rang full of scorn and hate. Everything was about hate, nothing about love, no compassion, no help, just hate, fear, abandonment.

"I still think he has good looks, I mean he didn't steal every girl in France for being ugly for sure. However, no one knows you're an illegitimate do they? You're a damned half, you can't belong in one place or the other can you? Say we mark up this ever so flawless skin of yours a little, I promise it will be rougher than you will ever believe it to be." The first voice sounded again, then hands, arms, and other body parts started touching, feeling and marking the skin that was always so clean. A cloth covered near violet orbs, the feeling of his clothing being torn and skin being scratched, his arms were stretched above him and ropes kept him bound.

"Se il vous plaît arrête, je vais vous donner ce que vous voulez vous plaît arrêter juste!" (A/N: translation for above sentence - Please stop, I'll give you whatever you want please just stop!) His weak and dry voice pleaded, a whip to his back, chains cracked on his legs for the plea.

"Don't you get it mon amour? What we want is you." (A/N: translation to mon amour - my love) The second voice sounded again, then laughter, more voices joined, more hands, more pushing, scratching, and beating. Tears. All he could do was cry, he didn't care if it made him weak or made them realize he was a baby. Who wouldn't cry if they knew they could very well be ended in the next moments and no one could help them. Tamaki decided then and there, that life was just a way to learn of hate and pain. The love he found would always disappear, then and there was when Suoh Tamaki stopped believing in love.

  By this time Kyouya had long snapped out of his spinning trance, at the screams of his friend as he fell into a corner. His eyes were blank and unseeing but open. his mind was clearly no rational and the other came to the conclusion Tamaki had been thrown back into time. The raven haired male sat next to the, currently, fetal positioned blonde. He couldn't touch him, because that he found caused more problems, he couldn't speak to him because that too set the other off into more crying, screaming and a fit of terror it seemed. 'What can I do if I can't help him? What the hell is going to happen to Tamaki?' He asked himself as he sat there in silence next to the other but not touching him. Again he waited for the other to calm down, a lot, before he softly started stroking his hair and whispering sweet nothings in French. It worked more than anything else and main priority was to find something that worked. The floor was cold but Tamaki slowly moved and laid his head on Kyouya's crossed legs so the other decided it was worth it. To be that safety, to be that help and to be the person Tamaki would never lose. That, Kyouya realized, is what he wished for more than anything in the entirety of the world.