the group was already on their way to that certain place in the airport where the ones who were going to ride the airplane pass their last greetings to the ones who weren't, also known as that certain place where people cry the most, and judging from all of the thoughts cruelly blinding his mind and the feelings painfully twisting and turning his heart strings like a knot, yuta was almost thought that he was going to be one of those people.
yuta was almost convinced that he was defying the laws of physics as he felt like gravity was pulling down on his feet more and more with each and every second that went by while waiting at that certain place. he remained isolated from his friends out of fear that he was going to break down the moment he opened his mouth.
unfortunately, this sulking time of his only lasted until the chinese members came back.
as the members started saying their last greetings to the others, yuta held his head down, hoping that time had plans of coming by as soon as possible.
"yuta hyung."
tsk.
yuta turned around to see sicheng standing by him with his hand wrapped around one of the straps of his satchel. he looked at his eyes, seeing the obvious glint of worry buried in it.
"we're leaving now, yuta hyung," sicheng said softly.
yuta huffed, as if to say i know.
"alright," yuta responded coldly. "have a safe trip."
"don't i get my hug?" sicheng pouted.
how could he act all cute when he's leaving me alone? damn this kid.
"hyung."
"what?"
"what's wrong? you've been acting weird ever since last few weeks ago."
yuta looked down at sicheng, biting his lip. he didn't know whether he wanted to hate him for not knowing or to be relieved to know that he didn't notice.
he opened his mouth to spout another one of his infamous lies, but sicheng was too much for him. he stared at the japanese boy, stabbing him in the heart with his eyes.
he knew something was wrong, and he wasn't going to let him be left alone with it.
"is it because i'm leaving?"
and that was it; that was when yuta's heart was struck down after weeks of trying to force it up. tearing down his pride, yuta covered his face with his hands, attempting to catch the tears that were falling out of his eyes.
"i don't—" yuta muttered in a croaky voice as sobs were building up in his throat. "i don't want you to go. i don't want you to leave me alone."
he sniffled and wiped away his tears, trying to look up at sicheng, who was looking back at him with shock plastering his baby-like face.
"but i can't let you stay, either," yuta continued. "you have to go. i can't stop you, can i?"
yuta looked back down at his feet, ashamed for many things, like telling sicheng his selfish thoughts that revolved around him, for crying in the middle of the airport, and for making the chinese members become slowly late for their flight.
as the speakers spoke up with an announcement about the airplane almost ready for take off, sicheng looked at his fellow chinese friends, then back at yuta with a small yet sad smile.
"i wish you told me this earlier, hyung," sicheng said, sighing. he then walked closer to yuta and gently wrapped his arms around him, enveloping both of them with such warmth that both boys knew they were going to miss every day.
yuta looked down at sicheng with eyes widened out of surprise, but then, his arms automatically wrapped around the latter, returning such a sweet gesture.
"it's just for a few months, hyung," he heard sicheng mutter against his clothed shoulder.
but a second without you feels like a century. what more with months?
the two then pulled away, giving a sour taste to their hearts.
"see you soon, yuta hyung," sicheng said with a smile.
yuta watched as sicheng turned away and ran up to his fellow chinese friends to catch up. he balled his fists and bit his lip, bitter about the sight he was watching, but he couldn't look away. tears started welling up in his eyes, and homesickness started filling up his chest.
泣いちゃだめ
eyes getting wet
泣いちゃだめ
don't be upset
でもホントは言いたいよ
but my heart really wants to cry
「 いかないで 」
"don't go away yet"
end.
