The Good, The Bad And The Dirty

Lunar

~Few months later~

Moony had been taking over more and more recently, hovering near Harry and watching him closely which admittedly drove Harry a bit crazy at times. Which was one of those times right now. "Moony... Back off. I need space." Harry pushed at Remus's body. "I'm trying read." He scowled slightly, staring at the golden eyes. "Let Remus come back. Right now."

The werewolf grumbled but Remus' forest green eyes returned and he moved over a bit. "Sorry, Harry. He's agitated." Remus needed a nap and laid down, going to sleep.

"Poor Rem..." Sirius sighed, watching him sleep whilst speaking to Harry. "You feel okay?" He had noticed Harry rubbing his stomach lightly.

"They were kicking is all." Harry smiled at Sirius, not wanting to alarm him. "I think I'm gonna take a nap too. Why not join us?"

"Sure, Love." Sirius laid on Harry's other side and the three slept for a few hours until a sudden yell emerged from Harry James Potter.

"MY PENIS!" He woke up, kicking the blankets down and shoving his pants and underwear down and freaking out because he couldn't feel his penis. It was rather alarming to him obviously.

"What's wrong?!" Sirius yelled, staring at Harry. "What's wrong with your penis?!" He looked between Harry's legs and fainted, falling backwards off the bed. Remus just stared before looking at Harry.

"Looks like your body is preparing itself to give birth." He was trembling slightly but threw his arms around Harry, holding him close. Harry was in shock and Remus pulled the blankets up, covering them. "Shhh... Relax.. It'll come back once the babies are born." 

Sirius groaned, getting back on the bed. "Ow my head..." He laid by them, letting Harry snuggle up into him and Remus spooned Harry. "We still love you just the same though."

"Promise?" Harry asked softly, lower lip jutting out. He was very insecure about if they would still want him once he gave birth.

"We promise." They spoke at the same time, smiling at him and chuckling at how cute he looked. 

"Let's go back to bed now." Harry nodded, closing his eyes and holding onto them both.

~A Week later~

Harry paced around, one hand on his stomach and the other gesturing as he spoke to Bill, Charlie and the twins. "And yeah... I want the babies to have two godfathers each. And Sirius, Remmy and I have all agreed that we would like them to be you four." Harry smiled radiantly at them, looking hopeful that they'll say yes.

"Of course!" Fred and George grinned at the same time, standing and sandwiching him into a hug. "We'd be honored, Mate. You know we love you like a little brother."

"I'm in." Bill added, smiling at them before joining the hug. He liked the boy and thought of him as family.

"Might as well. You're my little brother and this is pretty awesome. I'll be the cool uncle." Charlie smirked slightly. "I'll be the best uncle out of the four of us!" He joined the hug now.

"Wanna bet?!" Bill laughed. "I'll be the awesome one."

"We'll be the funny uncles who provide prank stuff." George laughed and Fred snorted right after. They were already planning what kind of mischief they could help the babies get up to once they were born and older.

"Alright, boys. I'm sure you'll all be great uncles. It's time for lunch!" Harry managed to get out of the group hug and led them to the kitchen. He sat at the table, joined by the others and they all dug into the large lunch prepared for them.

"Oh god.... This is so good..." Fred moaned obscenely, George elbowing him in the side. "Beats Mum's cooking honestly."

"Mum makes corned beef too often. None of us really like it except Percy, Dad, and Ginny." George added with his nose wrinkled. It was often dry and tough.

"Ugh... Honestly... I was always glad to get to Hogwarts and have their food." Bill nodded in agreement.

"Hey... Isn't that Dobby?" George and Fred had seen Dobby once.

"The Weezies know Dobby?" Dobby's mouth opened and he teared up.

"Ah! Dobby, no. Don't cry." Harry was quick to try and head off the tears as fast as he could. "Dobby, can you bring Remus and Sirius something to eat? They've been up in the nursery forever."

"Yes, Harry Potter!" Dobby disappeared with a tray of food upstairs.

"Best way to head off the storm. Give him something to do." Harry chuckled, finishing his sandwich.

"The Weezies?" Charlie laughed quietly. He had never met the eccentric Elf before.

"Yeah. He's always called Ron that and he knows you guys are related so it passed to you." Harry sipped his orange juice. 

"Ah. I see." Bill snorted. "How've you been feeling, Harry?"

"Pretty sore lately... You have to promise not to laugh at what I'm gonna say next." Harry looked each of them in the eye.

"We promise." The four Weasley men chorused together, wondering what was making Harry ask them not to laugh.

"I don't have a penis anymore." Harry blushed while speaking. He wanted to see if it was as normal as Remus and Sirius said.

"I'm sorry. What?" Bill thought he hadn't heard right.

"My penis disappeared... To make way for lady bits... To give birth. Which means my due date is soon." Harry blushed even more. 

"Oh my goodness." The twins were trying so hard not to laugh, faces as red as their brilliant Weasley locks.

"That's different. But I've heard about it." Charlie shrugged. "One of the dragon tamers on the preserve got pregnant and had the same thing happen."

"Really? That's cool." Harry smiled. "Glad to hear I'm not a freak."

"It's pretty normal actually." Bill added soothingly. He could tell Harry had been worried.

"Don't worry, Harry. Most of the books don't really mention it." Charlie answered the silent question of why Harry hadn't seen it in a book. "Makes men feel less manly so they don't put it in."

The rest of the visit passed in peace, laughter ringing out occasionally and filling the house with a joy that hasn't been felt since James Potter was still in school.