Troyler 4 Life

DOCTOR DOCTOR PLEASE LISTEN part 2

< Ok so i was in New York for a really long time so sorry I haven't posted anything lately. i sorta forgot what happened in the last chapter and even i am triggered so sorry you had to wait so long for another chapter.....I'm a bad person.... btw I'm writing this at 11 at night and my dog is barking at something and I'm sorta scared  that someone just broke in...... probably not. TOO BAD I'M PARANOID.>

Tyler's Pov: 

          I can't even begin to understand to what i am feeling right now. I don't know what drove me to do what i did. It might be because i got my true love hurt when i didn't stick up for myself when my ex came over. It might be because i don't feel worthy of having such a nice, brave boyfriend. Or it might be because i'm so much older than him and i don't understand why he likes me.

     I woke up at about 6:30, before everyone else, next to a half nude Troye. I felt so guilty I don't even remember what happened that last night. I was so tired, but I felt guilty . So, I went into the bathroom without telling anyone . Troye was the first person I told were I was, ONLY because he woke up when I started...... but I told him I was taking a shower...... I hated lying to him, but i had too. i couldnt tell him the truth. that would have been worse. that would have hurt me and him. well letting him find out for himself... might have been worse. too late now. what's done is done.

      I don't remember anything after Troye and my mom walked in. i think i passed out. i heard Troye yell call 911. then everything was black. 

      I wake up..... sorta...... I see my body and Troye and my mom...... but I think I'm in a coma.... or whatever it is if you loose to much blood.... i see Troye crying. my mom pacing waiting for the doctor to come tell the bad news. i cant help but to cry when i see them like this.. what have i done. the last thing i did was change and fall asleep with Troye... i cant.... my heart beat is pretty steady. that annoying beeping could stop though that would be nice, maybe a nice ping not BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP. 

then 

i 

hear

the 

worse 

sound 

ever

the 

sound 

when 

your 

heart stops

    my mom and Troye start facially yelling for the doctor. 

about seven doctors and nurses come in all at once.

my mom and Troye start crying even harder.

they are now hugging. 

in pretty sure Troye was scared that queen jackie hated him when they first met.

now i think they dont care they just need me  to be alive again.

a moment later 

nothing happened

i watch as my loved ones cry over my soon to be dead body.

i cant deal with this 

i try my hardest to do whatever i can to tell them im here

nothing worse we are running out of time

i jump back onto the bed where i lay

i hear my heart beat again.

then i sit up, me and my body 

i jump up

and hug them

then i fall, because im smart.... i should not have done that.

they help me back up and im back in bed.

< sorry it took me so long to write this, but  i didnt really have time while i was in new york and yes i left everything but Troye capitalized... make your guess. by the way ill try to post more. also would you like me to make a poetry book. i would only post the ones im proud of. anyways im trying to get into poetry and i only wrote like one thing so far and its bad, anyways STAY ALIVE MY FRENS>