August 17, 2011
I'll always remember the people who had an impact in my life. From my first kiss, to the first guy I dated in school and I said I love you too. From the time I choose the wrong people to hang out with. From changing schools then back again. From actually being a new student and starting to decide to give someone a chance. I'll always remember that these choices I make are the ones that'll affect what others think of me. Yet, who cares anymore. I'm going to do what I want to do no matter what. There's a line between happiness and sadness. I'm in the middle and verging toward loneliness. This is all because I don't know anyone at this new school; heck it's high school, freshmen year. I'm as lost as anyone, but I feel all alone in this place too. It just scares me.
August 19, 2011
Thinking about your true meaning here.. And then seeing all the people around
you.. You find love and liking to them.. Yet you try not to do so.. Simply
because you don't believe in that stuff.. For your past has proven that it's not
true and it can't be.. So you block yourself off from the world not letting many
in. Sure your outgoing and have people to hang out with.. Yet that's not
enough.. Not when you crave the thing you don't believe in. You catch yourself
finding someone but you back off simply. Just because you don't believe. This
happens so much that you've given up. Your tired of being broken and in pieces.
You just want to give in.. But that's not as simple as it sounds. It's against
what you have always done. What has become first nature to you of hiding all
that's inside of you from others.. You try to start letting it out. Even through
you still don't believe. Sure you see it, but it's not enough.
August 22, 2011
I'm starting to have these strange feelings. I don't know what to call them.
It's abnormal for me to feel this way about someone. All I know is it's mixed
feelings. Yet it's also feelings I've never felt before. It's so confusing to be
feeling this way already. It's only been about a month since I met her. A month
and two kisses later and this is how I feel. I feel conflicted here. Her and
then there's him still. He'd never understand this if I explained this to him.
He truly wouldn't. I guess I just need to push him as far as I can out of my
thoughts. That just might help with all this confusing madness going on inside
of me.
September 20, 2011
To tune out reality is just one of those things we all wish we could do at one
point. Don't you just lay back and just want to yell at the world sometimes. To
tune it all out with music all the way up and your eyes closed to everything.
Just to get rid of the days events and thoughts, just so your mind will be clear
for a matter of moments. Don't we all wish we could do that.
September 28, 2011
When your feeling all alone; don't you just wish that you could just easily hide
from everyone. You feel different, like you don't fit in. What's the purpose in
going on any longer you wonder? You keep going on, with fake smiles, fake
laughter, you just go on as it was before. Before you started feeling left out
of everyone's games. They don't see what they did to you, kind of like you don't
know exactly why your feeling this way, you just are. How does it feel knowing
you won't ever be the same that you used to be?
October 28, 2011
To not know what to do truly. Feeling like your ripping apart at the seems. Your
torn, ripped apart. It's all just falling apart away from everyone else.
Everyone says to stay away from the person you've always had a connection with,
but don't they know that's merely impossible. Without them you feel so lost,
like a CD that can't be played because its skipping. Sometimes we all deserve a
chance to be fixed and played even of were broken. Don't we all deserve that
chance?
January 22, 2012
You never know who might become more than friends with you at any given time.
You just sometimes have to just give it time. Because the right person will come
along and repair your broken heart and help you keep moving on. Sometimes you
just won't even see it coming at all, but others you will.
March 25, 2012
Just because you say you are something doesn't mean you are. Proof is what you
need to be what you are. Actions will show what you are. Otherwise people
believe you are just a fake person, two-sided even at times. Don't you see
thoughts means nothing about, even if they are the start of everything. It's the
actions that you do that become you, become who people see who you are, become
who you will be. That's what you must do to be who you think you are. It don't
matter what you think of who you are, it's who you really are that matters.
Actions are power.
March 28, 2012
Just going with the flow of things as each day blends into the next without a
second thought. All you're doing is wasting your precious time. Blending one day
into the next and not making the most of your day isn't always what you should
do even though most people say that you should just go with the flow.
April 4, 2012
Sometimes many of us wonder how we are suppose to get someone to believe that we won't merely just use them to get what we want just because we have done that before to people. How do you persuade them to believe that what you're saying,
what you're laying out is the truth. You don't. You let them see for themselves
that what you say is true. That you won't use them for your own personal gain,
not this time and not ever again.
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