Depressing Truths

Fear

I'm lost in the sight of fear

Thinking nothing of myself

Sheding tear after tear

I'm like a book on a shelf

Never to be read and never to be seen

Forgotten and abandoned, neglected and rejected

No one cares about how I've been

Broken and hopless, lost and unprotected

Names being tossed around like balls in a game

Never thought of how they effect another's life

Just used as weapons in a fight that's not needed to be fought

They break down barriers and tear apart souls

Tears are shed to try and forget all the pain they have met

As the blade is dragged across the flesh of a soul

One that could've been saved by one kind word

Tossing and turning in the dark as fear sweeps over each broken heart

They tell me it's just in my head but these scars say otherwise

They say forget it and breathe but how can I when I feel like I'm suffocating

Tossed about under the waves of anguish caused by all the melodrama in this society

All the fads and standards we are expected to keep up with

How can we think straight when we are torn down by everything

They say be yourself but how can we when they also say be perfect

Girls must this guys must that

So many standards that are unattainable being forced upon us every second of every dreadful day

Be unique but be the same

So many conflicting stories of the same lies

Stop the bullying but don't defend yourself

Stand up for yourself but don't protect yourself

What are we suppose to do when we are being told to not do what we are told to do

Be skinny, be healthy

Be smart, be naive

Be male, be female

Be straight, be queer

Never can we be ourselves amongst cheaters and liars

Abusers and seducers

Lost in a rampaging sea never to be found

Searching for happiness that will never be in reach

WHY CANT I JUST BE ME?!?!?!?!

Because the me I want to be isn't the me people want to see

I'm the perfect image of imperfection

Torn and broken

Lost and neglected

My mind tears me apart from the inside

With self hate and disgust I break myself down

Words cycle through my head from what have been said of my body

UGLY

DISGUSTING

TRASH

UNWANTED

NOTHING!!!

No matter how hard I tried to fit in the rules of the game change and throw me off track again

I'm like a freight train tearing through the dark

Not know where I should go nor where I should be

Bumbling around with nothing for support stumbling over my depression again and again

Running into my anxiety and lack of confidence

My trust has been broken so much that I now I cut my feet on the shards of what remains as I try to find every piece to put back together

I'm lost in the sight of fear

The fear that someone will find me

That they will treat me right after so many years of being treated wrong

And that I would in turn end up breaking them like I have been broken

So don't get too close you might get cut for I have not picked up all the pieces of my broken heart or shattered trust

Nor the remains of my maimed soul or my splintered dreams

Your only cusion will be my fear of myself

The fear of rejection

The fear of love

The fear of happiness

The fear.....