We're Back

Peter the Turtle (Gets Wasted)

"Whats up bro? Wanna take another sip? Its good stuff." Peter the turtle yelled shitting his shell as he handed Micah the bottle of beer. 

"Bro Im trying to cut back." Micah yelled wiping some of Peters shit off of his shoes. His date sexy pineapple was sitting next to him. They were at the beach. 

"Nah man. this is the good stuff. Promise."

Micah took the beer and chugged it. Because he knew how to have a good time. Unlike Wattpad. The 'F' in 'Wattpad' stands for 'fun'. The 'K' in 'Wattpad' stands for 'kind'. The 'C' in 'Wattpad' stands for 'considerate'. The 'N' in 'Wattpad' stands for 'not-taking-content-down-from-other-peoples-profiles'.

Moving on, 

Peter was a little tipsy. He gently caressed the pineapples cheek. He whispered. "Do you like Bieber?"

"Why of course I do." the pineapple didn't speak. because pineapples don't speak. Micah looked over at his beautiful wife, wondering if he should cut her open and combine her with the juices of their beauitulf child the coconut. Baby it was pina colada.

"Are you drunk?" peter asked micah finding it hard to believe how people could be so racist and sexist? It was a sad unacceptable truth that people always looked for the worse in others.

"Yes. Of course Im drunk but I still want that pina. If you know what I colada?" Micah whispered seductilcey looking over at the drunk turtle he had met a few hours ago. 

Y'all know how the story ends. Micah the drunken boy and Peter the wasted turtle sipping dem average pina coladas.