Friday's Secrets

10. Let me pass out from the romance.

10. Let me pass out from the romance.

Kissing Logan could be described in one word.

Heaven.

The moment his lips touched mine, the raging teenage hormones that had been dormant within me since freshman year suddenly came alive. It was as if they had stored themselves up for years saving their energy for this very moment.

I wasted no time in processing what was actually happening, my hands instantaneously reaching up and running my hands through his perfect yet already messed up hair, something which I had been dying to do since we first spoke. There was no point in denying that any longer.

The anger we both still felt was clear in the kiss, I pulled slightly on his hair, wanting him as close to me as possible, he emitted a small groan from the back of his throat, I thanked god that his arms were still wrapped tightly around my waist, I'm sure I would have dropped to the floor without his support. He bit at my lip lightly before invading my mouth with his tongue, I let out a moan, something I would no doubt blush profusely about later, but right now, I couldn’t care less. I felt him smile against my lips before he pulled away, trailing kisses down my neck, I released my death grip on his hair and let my hands slip down to his chest, gripping at his t-shirt. He raised his head, this time moving back toward my lips, still unwilling to let each other go, our lips rejoined once more, passion still searing through the kiss.

All too soon we pulled away from each other. Damn the human need for oxygen.

Logan rested his forehead against mine, both of us breathing heavily. His hands were cupping my face as we caught our breath and processed what had just happened. The shock finally sinking in, a million thoughts ran through my mind along with uncountable feelings that I was trying to manage all at once. One feeling stood out from the rest, and it was the farthest away from regret.

I lifted my head up, looking straight at Logan. His expression was unreadable, his eyes still alive, sparkling with emotion I had never seen on him before. I smiled inwardly at the thought that I was the one to bring that out in him, even if there was still the possibility that it was out of pure unadulterated anger and hatred.  A soft expression passed across his face before it was quickly replaced with a cold hard expression, any happiness I had previously felt drained away as quickly as it arrived. Logan had gone. And his place was a heartless delinquent. Incapable of emotion. I had lost him.

“That shouldn’t have happened” he stated, looking at the wall above me and dropping his hands to his sides

Still unable to speak I let my eyes drop to the floor, not able to deal with the emotionless look on his face, so different from only moments ago.

“It meant nothing, got it?”

I looked up at him, feeling the tears form in my eyes. I had no idea why I was crying, it was a kiss. Just a kiss.

My first kiss.

I stopped the thought from forming, knowing if it did I would end up bawling on the floor like a small child. There goes my dream of riding of in to the sunset with my high school sweetheart after kissing in the middle of the football field after he just won the last game of the season. No I had to get a step up, a heated kiss in the boys’ locker room with the resident delinquent. Let me pass out from the romance.

I watched as he took in my expression, I hated to think what I looked like, a pathetic girl close to tears unable to speak. If the door wasn’t locked I would have ran from the room as fast as I possibly could, without tripping of course, hell I would risk anything as long as it meant I was nowhere near this asshole.

His expression softened, but only slightly, barely noticeable really.

“Madison” he spoke coldly “you’re nothing to me, understand?”

“I got it” I spat back, the anger in my voice was evident, the tears however were still threatening to spill.

I turned my back, not trusting myself to look at him any longer.

I was going to kill that janitor for this. Maybe stage a little accident for him with his mop and bucket. If he ever let us out of this room that is.

“Shit!” I heard from behind me, followed by a loud bang, I turned to see Logan with his fist pounding into a nearby locker. I froze for a few seconds, struggling to understand what exactly was going on, he continued his assault on the heavy metal, crying out in both pain and anger. I snapped out of my frozen state and crossed the room quickly, forgetting the heartless words that had come out of his mouth only minutes earlier, focusing only on stopping his sudden outrage

“Logan stop!” I screamed, reaching out to try and grab his arm

“Get off me!” he spat back, yanking his arm out of my reach, he was no longer pummelling the innocent locker but stood there breathing heavily

“What were you trying to do? Break your hand?” I yelled looking at him like he was crazy

He turned to face me quickly, looking at me harshly “go on then, back away, try breaking the door down” he said letting out a humourless laugh “anything to get away from the out of control head case”

This was new. Never had Logan been so open towards me, so honest. If it hadn’t been for the cold look in his eyes and his hands still clutching the edge of the now very dented locker I might have actually smiled at the thought.

It wasn’t close to answering any of my questions about him, his mood swings, his overall mysterious life. But it was a start and I was going to take whatever I got, regardless of what he said after the kiss

“Logan I would never” I trailed off, not knowing how to finish my sentence, I inhaled deeply before speaking again “I don’t think of you like that, I would never run away from you, I'm not scared of you”

His expression softened as he took a step towards me, brushing my hair behind my ear, he leant in close, resting his forehead on mine “you should be” he whispered

I rested my hand on his chest “I'm not Logan” I said, looking up at him firmly, willing him to understand that I knew there was more to him. Much more.

“Mads” he sighed, cupping my face “I'm sorry for, well that” he said gesturing over to the locker “it makes me angry” he said, tightening his jaw

“What does?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper, hoping that I wasn’t pushing him too far

“How I want to be close to you” he said trailing his thumb along my jaw line “tell you things”

I took a sharp ragged breath, willing my voice to remain steady after the sudden turn of events “and that makes you angry?”

“I can’t need you Mads, I can’t”

I gripped his shirt, pulling him closer, I wasn’t used to seeing him like this, so honest and vulnerable “don’t push me away Logan” I replied, leaning into him. One of his hands cupped the nape of my neck whilst the other tilted my face up to his, and all of a sudden we were kissing again, wrapped up in our own world only concerned with this moment.

A click of the door broke us apart as we turned our attention to the rather shocked looking janitor, the key in one hand and a mop in the other. He cleared his throat, suggestively looking between us “I thought I heard someone in here, lot of banging going on”

I averted my gaze towards my feet, too embarrassed to look at the now clearly amused janitor, yet still thankful it wasn’t Len, the far grouchier janitor who would have no doubt reported us both

“You er locked us in” Logan replied, rubbing his neck awkwardly

The janitor simply nodded knowingly, smirking to himself before whistling and carry on his way.

I looked up finally at a rather amused looking Logan, he took my hand in his and pulled me towards the now open door “come on, I’ll take you home”