Dear diary,
Most people love how it feels when you enter the world you've missed out on for two months. They miss the fun times they had with their friends everyday, they miss the moments where they realized they can do something, and they miss the fact that they feel like they fit in. You want to know how I feel? I feel like the exact opposite. I dread walking these crowded halls just to end up in a room of friends. A room in which I don't fit in. I have no friends, unlike everyone else, and I know that I can't do anything about that. After years of trying, succeeding for a short period of time, and suddenly failing, I've given up all hope in finding someone who I can relate to. I can't stand seeing everyone so happy with their "soul mates". I can't. I feel like I'm worthless, considering all the friendships I've let crash and burn right in front of me. I could've done anything to prevent all that. I could've given up earlier, and saved myself from all the pain I'm in. But nope, innocent little me didn't realize that I was unwanted.
Jacob (my crush) sits right beside me in homeroom! That's literally the only thing that makes me feel like I can make it through a school day alive, especially since that "queen bee" Linda is in my class. She's so rude to me, that sometimes I think that I won't make it back to school. Ever. I'm scared I'll end up hurting myself without even realizing it. But when I see Jacob waiting at his desk on his phone, it makes my heart feel like one more shattered piece is falling into place. Even though we've never even talked, I feel like he is somehow healing me by just existing.
I'm sorry diary. I know I sound so fake and cheesy right now, but it's true. I feel like that boy is just a miracle in my sad life. I don't know if I'd ever have the guts to tell him that though...
Well, I guess it's goodnight. Tomorrow is school, and I'd rather not look like one of those vampires with black rings around their eyes who never sleep. It's only the third day of school. I think I'll save that look for later on.
Love, Samantha
YOU ARE READING
Then There's Me...
Teen FictionPeople don't often understand the lives of many others. In Samantha's life, no one understands her. Or at least up until she meets Sarah and Jacob. They both have problems they never shared with anyone, and Samantha feels the need to show who she re...
