The One (Phan)

Phil didn't speak a word all the way back from the radio show in their taxi. He hadn't spoken a word since the radio show had been cut off. Not to Dan, not to the people at the BBC, not even to thank the taxi driver. Dan was forced to make small talk with the driver, who thankfully was a regular who knew them quite well, so no awkward questions were asked. They walked up to their house in silence. Dan wasn't surprised, or even confused about Phil's silence. He did it quite a lot nowadays, ever since the accident with his father. He often spent days when he would only leave his room to get food or go to the bathroom. Dan had tried speaking with him, and he would answer, but often it was begrudgingly, as if he didn't really want to be talking, so Dan had concluded it was best if he didn't say anything now until they were back inside.

Dan flopped down on the sofa, entirely exhausted. Phil walked into the kitchen, continuing to look at him, or say anything.

'Hey Phil!' Dan called, hoping he wasn't trying to say something too soon. 'Are you making a cup of tea? I'm shattered from the radio show?'

Phil did not answer, but put the kettle on and walked over to the fridge.

'Phil? Phil did you hear me?' Dan got up and wandered into the kitchen, looking for Phil. The older boy avoided his gaze, pouring milk into only one mug, not two as usual.

'Phil? What's up Phil?' Dan was curious, because when he spoke to Phil he usually answered, even if he didn't really feel like talking.

Phil continued to ignore him, busting himself with putting sugar into his cup and checking the kettle.

'Phil! Phil will you please tell me what's wrong?!'

Phil swung round, leaning against the counter and fixing Dan with a steely gaze.

'You want me to tell you what's wrong, Daniel?' He spat, 'I'll tell you what's wrong. You. The way you act. On the radio show. All your fucking stupid little things.'

Dan gasped a little. Phil didn't often swear nowadays, only if he was really angry. Phil looked at him scornfully.

'Like all the shipping stuff.' Phil continued. 'When you say stuff about how you 'like' me. You know I don't like that. Can you, like, not? I don't really give a shit about teasing the fans. I don't think it's very nice actually. Remember the Valentine's Day Video? That 'joke' backfired, didn't it?'

Dan shifted again, looking awkward. If he was honest with himself, he had not ever planned on that video going public. Not even when he first came up with the idea. He had wanted to film it, and then keep it forever, just to know that Phil had said those words, despite them not even being real. It just made him happy. He remembered their Manchester days, when he and Phil had been... Well he didn't know, exactly, what they were. Head over heels, at first. But they couldn't carry on like that, not with YouTube looking at their every move.

He looked up at Phil, tears gathering in his eyes, then decided, on an impulse, to say what he had been wanting to say for the past four years.

'Phil. Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I say this stuff. But, I can't help it.' His voice rose a little. 'Ever since what we had, had to stop, I have been falling in love with you every day, falling in love with your voice, your beautiful personality, your gorgeous body, everything about you. And every day, I get my heart ripped into pieces remembering that you don't feel the same way!' He shouted the last sentence, then leaned against the opposite counter, breathing heavily. Then he spoke again. 'Look, Phil. I don't know how long I can go on living with you. With all the shipping, it's just making it worse. It's bad enough, and I am so sorry that I have put you through this, but I love you more than anyone and anything in this entire world, and if I am ever to get over this, I can't stay here.'

Phil stared at Dan. 'Y-you s-s-still love m-me?' He stuttered, eyes glassy.

'Yes. I'm sorry Phil, but I had to tell you. I can't go on living like this, wanting to...'

Phil bit his lip, then said, 'Wanting to what?'

Dan blushed. 'Do you really want me to say it?' Phil nodded. 'Fine.' He sighed, 'Wanting to kiss you until your lips are sore. Wanting to rip your clothes off. Wanting you to do whatever you want to me. Wanting to cuddle you whenever I feel like it. Wanting you to l-love me back.'

Phil walked over to Dan, abandoning his tea cup. He looked up at the taller, brown eyed boy. He rested his hand on the side of Dan's face, stroking his cheek. He stared at his full lips, the lips he had secretly wanted to kiss for so long as well. Then he closed the distance between their mouths, kissing Dan, gently, softly, sweetly. Dan gasped.

'Phil. Don't. I am begging you, don't do that. I don't want sympathy, I don't want... Not false hope.'

Phil raised an eyebrow, and slid his hands underneath the hem of Dan's shirt. He felt his chest, running his hands across his upper body, smiling mischievously, 'Is this sympathy?' He asked as he took the back of Dan's top, pulling it off. Them he pushed Dan's fringe out of his eyes, and whispered into his ear.

'I love you too, Daniel. Ever since I first laid eyes on you... I thought we had something... You were the one. Always. It's why I couldn't stand the shipping, teasing the fans. Because I wanted it... So much.'

Dan moaned a little as Phil spoke in deep, hushed tones.

'Phiiil... Phil, just, Phil!'

The darker haired boy smiled again.

'You know, it is hard.'

'What is?' Asked Dan, impatiently.

'Being away from the one.'

'Yup.' Dan answered, grinning.