The Nearness of You

Chapter 14

Livy woke up uncomfortable in her own skin. She slowly opened her eyes, blinking a couple of times to adjust to the blue light emanating from the screen in front of her. She noted it belonged to a laptop and she followed the light and saw Declan steadily typing.

She was stunned to see him, he must have been with her all night and it was something that she had never expected him to do.

She let her gaze take in his reclining figure. He was leaning against the headboard, the light from the screen highlighting the planes of his face. He was wearing what appeared to be a t-shirt and a pair of loose pajama bottoms and it was the most relaxed she had ever seen him.

She watched as he lifted up his left arm and rubbed the back of his neck squinting at the screen. The light highlighted a tattoo under his arm that said Doyle in a block print. It was completely unexpected and added yet another layer to the man.

"Who or what is Doyle?" she asked, as she reached out to trace the letters.

He jumped at her words and touch but he didn't move away. He lifted up his arm and looked at the three-inch long word, as if he had forgotten it was there.

"How long have you been awake?" he asked, turning his computer so that the light lit her face as well.

"Only a minute or so." She gave a little cough her throat dry.

"There is some water on your nightstand," he told her. "How are you feeling?"

"About the same, maybe a little less tired."

He set his computer aside and reached over his shoulder to turn on the light next to him before he stood and walked to her side of the bed. He felt her head and she closed her eyes at the blissful coolness of it.

"You still have a fever." He reached for a bottle next to the water glass and shook out two pills. "Here take these and drink all of the water, I'll get you some more when you've finished."

Livy did as she was instructed and sank back into the pillows, exhausted by the effort.

"Why are you here?" She pulled the covers up around her chin, her teeth starting to chatter.

He grabbed a blanket from the end of the bed and covered her with it as well. "Aren't you worried you'll get sick also?"

"I rarely get sick and I wanted to be here in case you needed anything. It's a big house and no one would have heard you call." He walked into the bathroom and filled the glass with more water before returning it to her side of the bed. "Is there anything you need?"

"No, just talk to me. I rarely get sick myself so I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself right now."

He walked back over to the side of the bed he had been laying on and sat down, turning off the light as he did so.

"Who's Doyle?" she asked again, his evasion of the question only making her more curious.

"You're not going to let that one go, are you?" She could hear the smile in his voice as he shut his computer and set it on his nightstand before leaning back.

Livy gave a soundless sigh, pleased that he was staying. She thought he might leave and she didn't want him to, but she didn't realize it until that minute.

"Probably not," she agreed, her teeth still chattering.

"Rollover," he instructed.

When she did he curled up behind her, wrapping his arm across her chest. He wasn't under the covers, which was probably a good thing since she was on fire, but his weight helped the cloth pull tight making her feel warmer and she let her eyes close, relaxing into the secure feeling.

Declan was quiet for so long that she thought he had decided not to answer.

"Doyle was my twin brother," he said softy.

"Was? So he died?" Livy asked just as softly.

"Yes. We were separated at a young age and we got the tattoos so that we could always remember each other."

"Declan," she said sadly as she squeezed his arm. "What about the rest of your family?"

"It was just me and him, our parents were out of the picture almost from the beginning."

Livy was silent as she digested this piece of news. The cold-hearted Declan really did have a reason to be cold-hearted after all. Only he wasn't, not really. If he was he would have never chased after her, or worried about Taft, and he definitely wouldn't be with her now, giving her medicine and cuddling her.

She couldn't help but wonder if he had done this with any of his other girlfriends, if they had also seen this softer side to Declan Brooks. Livy would have never guessed it existed prior to his rescuing her. And the thought that some other girl had lain in his arms exactly as she was doing now upset her, but she wasn't sure why.

Quickly, changing the direction of her thoughts to something less distressing; her father and Declan's relationship suddenly popped into her head, a lot of it finally making sense. He had obviously needed a father figure, and her father had always wanted a son, and they had been that for each other.

"Stop it Livy," Declan whispered in her ear and the intimacy of the sound was overwhelming.

"Stop what?" she asked, wondering if he knew how much she was enjoying him being so close to her.

"Stop worrying about my past, I've had a pretty amazing life. There's no reason to feel sorry for me."

"That's not what I was thinking about, and the last thing I feel is sorry for you Declan, I don't think anyone would ever feel that for you. You wouldn't let them, would you?"

"What does that mean?"

"You'd cut them out of your life as unworthy. There is no place for weakness in your life," she snorted and then started to cough.

He waited until she was done, folding his pillow in half so that he rested higher than her.

"I wouldn't say that, there are plenty of times I've been weak in my life."

"So says the man who gave me a lecture on self-control."

"I was young once too Livy, and I've made my fair share of mistakes."

They were both silent as Livy thought about what his mistakes could be. "Do you have multiple ex-wives and a pack of kids hiding somewhere?" she joked before she went off into a coughing fit once more. This one lasted a lot longer.

"You said that my sad past it not what you were thinking about, what were you thinking about?" Declan asked once the coughing had subsided.

Livy was quiet for a little too long. "I was thinking that you and my father's relationship makes sense now, you needed a father figure and he needed a son and you were that for each other."

"But that's not all you were thinking about, was it?" He didn't deny her take on his and her father's relationship.

"Livy?" he asked softly.

She wasn't brave enough to tell him that she was wondering how many other women he had held in this exact same way. For her it was a first, but she had a feeling for him it was one of many such encounters.

"It doesn't matter Declan. I'm tired and I think I want to try to get some sleep now."

He gave a long-suffering sigh. "Then go to sleep Livy, but know I'll circle back to the question eventually and I won't let you off the hook so easily."

She nodded, knowing that he spoke the truth. "And maybe I'll be ready to answer." She agreed before she closed her eyes and let sleep claim her.