Finding Me

today;

8/22/2017
9:01 AM

"How long have you been getting these dreams from?"
"It's been months"
"And you claim that you remember the details?"
"Every move. Everything. Its crystal clear, as if I've lived it."
"--As if it was a memory?"
"Exactly" I tell him.
My psychiatrist looks at me like he knows what's wrong, I know that should make me feel hopeful that maybe I'll find a cure and I'll be okay but instead, it gives me chills because that same look makes me want to believe the voice inside of me which has been eating me up alive, a voice that's not my friend and says "You don't belong here".

Now, I'm not talking about not being able to fit in high school or according to society's norms. No, it's not like that. In fact, it's quite the opposite of a teen-movie-where-the-girl-is-too-awkward-and-hates-her-life-because-of-a-clique-of-mean-girls. I mean I don't have friends but that's by choice, a choice I made for my own good, to concentrate on my studies and anyways grades are more important than people who are too immature, right? Wrong. What you just read was something my younger self would've said and agreed to. But things have changed. Ever since I met him. It's like everything makes sense
But my identity.

I need to find my past and figure out my present, I'm Veronica (last name: undetermined) and welcome to my journey of finding myself.