Falling

Chapter 3

Loving someone hurts. Kuroo was now three hours away, their time together was short but they basked in each other's attention. Kuroo could only stay so long, having school and his parents were bugging him about his college applications, he left back home the next day.

Kuroo had gotten into the habit of constantly messaging Tsukishima to ask him how he was doing. Albeit irritating for the taller of the two, but there was no way Kuroo was going to leave him alone. They spend a lot of time on Skype as well, to the point where it didn't seem like Tsukishima was ever alone.

But he was.

The constant messages and calls didn't stop the bad thoughts from clouding his mind, though it made it easier to bear with it.

Kuroo didn't push Tsukishima to tell him anything, he instead talked to Tsukishima about meaningless things, such as what he was doing and how bored he was studying for his exams. Kenma was also a topic for their conversation, it was mainly Kuroo complaining how Kenma kept ignoring him.

Tsukishima was jealous. He liked Kuroo, but couldn't be there with him. Kenma was with Kuroo most of the time. He wouldn't be a talkative though, he probably would be doing what Kenma does and ignore him most of the time.

He isn't a good friend, much less a boyfriend. Tsukishima had a twisted view on romance. He hated the things shown in movies and books, and he's not the kind for dreaming of love. His parents didn't have a loving relationship, not that he could remember anymore at least.

It was constant fighting and cold shoulders. His mother would bring home guys, drunk and all, hearing moans coming from the room. He would see couples in the street, hand holding and kissing. They wouldn't last. No relationship last. He couldn't bear the thought of someone touching him. The thought itself disgusted him. Whenever his father would brush against him when walking down the halls, his mother's hand petting him on the head as she drags her feet to bed, all of those touches left his skin feeling dirty. He would rub the parts they touched hoping that the feeling would go away.

That was one of the reasons why he receded into his room. With no one else there, the only one he could trust was himself. Trusting himself was the hard part. How can he trust himself when he keeps breaking his promises.

to: Kuroo
'Mum and dad came to see me today.'

from: Kuroo
'And how did it go?'

to: Kuroo
'Mum was worried. She asked me all sorts of questions. I got to meet her current boyfriend too, she had to go back to work so she rushed off. Her boyfriend is one of her co-workers. And dad, he said me being in the hospital was a waste of money and it wasn't even that serious. He probably won't want to keep me here any longer than needed to.'

from: Kuroo
'That's a lot of words. You okay?'
'You never write long messages.'
'Your mum seems alright though. But your dad is an ass.'
'But I'm happy. That you're opening up to me a little more. ^.^'

Tsukishima looked at the messages. Was he opening up to Kuroo? All he was doing was tell him what happened. Did he really not say much before?

Looking through past messages, it was mostly Kuroo doing the talking. Tsukishima couldn't help but clench his fists. Opening up to people. Does he deserve it though? What has he done? His accomplishments weren't anything special. He doesn't reach out to achieve anything either. Tsukishima was not a person who is worth the time, the effort, to get to know.

from: Kuroo
'You okay? You're taking a while to reply.'
'I'm going to go study, call me on Skype whenever you can. I love you.'

The words sent shivers down his spine. Kuroo loves him. Sure Kuroo says that a few times a day, but believing it was another thing. Tsukishima wants to believe it was true but if their relationship progressed, there is going to be a day where they'll part. They'll end up just like his parents. Fighting to fill their time together and going behind each other's backs.