Off The Script

03.

03.

"Why would you do that, G?" Tina groaned through the phone, Tina lived in London and happened to be my closest friend at the moment. The boys were just people I had fun with, whenever I had issues I went straight to Tina. That is after I went to B, unless it was about B or after the whole breakup thing.

Tina happened to do this thing where she just makes everyone feel important and loved, at least until she's had enough time to bask in the drama and get bored and move on. It's a fact well known to me, but I wasn't looking for someone to be my best friend. I just needed someone to vent to.

"I don't know, really, I have no idea what I was thinking." I started, feeling my head already aching. That was a quality that came with conversing with Tina, the last time I called her was when I got into a huge fight with Emily.

"Well duh, it's kind of obvious. So then after you kissed her, what happened?"

"I ran and threw up outside. Told Statham I was sick. And came home."

Tina let out an exasperated sigh. She always shipped G and B as she liked to call it. "You ran outside and threw up?"

"I know, it's dumb. I just don't know what I'm feeling. I'm going to mess it all up all over again. I really made a huge mistake. Now it's too late because of Emily and all of the things that come with her and I got into an argument with her yesterday and I just-" My head was pounding now and the words were flying out of me so fast that even I could barely understand them.

"Oh, Emily! What are you going to tell her?" I could just hear the excitement in Tina's voice. She didn't like Emily. Not that she knew her or had a valid opinion on Emily, but it stirred up a small little part of me that was hopeful that I would really end up with B and even need to start to talk about 'what about Emily'.

But none the less I just sighed and shrugged even though Tina couldn't see me.

"Nothing I guess. B did tell me repeatedly that the kiss meant nothing and was simply a slip up..."

"Oh come on G, slip ups happen once. When it happens twice, in forty eight hours it's no longer a 'slip up'. Plus keep in mind that she told you it was nothing the first time and that you didn't give her enough time to say it for the second. So, you're being too harsh on yourself." Tina does this thing where when she listens she really listens.

"I have a girlfriend. I have a girlfriend who is supportive, caring, kind-"

"Sounds like you have a mum not a girlfriend. She doesn't ignite anything in you like B does. You know it, I know it. You are literally struggling to find qualities you like in Emily, let alone love." Tina paused. "Not to say that those qualities aren't good ones... But Emily seems to treat you exactly how you complain about your mum treating you. You don't exactly feel the urge to kiss her when you're with her, I just... Maybe Emily would be better as a friend then someone you want to curl up and do nothing with."

"Stop Tina." My mind was racing.

"Greg." Tina's voice grew soft.

"Yes?"

"I just want you to be happy. Even if it means having rough patches and arguing about the stupid things that don't really matter. Even if it means you have to work a little harder. I don't want you to wake up one day and realize that you made the biggest mistake of your life."

I didn't say anything. She didn't say anything. Neither of us hung up. I leant against the wall I had been sitting up against in my room. I didn't give Tina enough credit sometimes. Somewhere in her desperate need for some sort of drama to immerse herself in, I knew she cared.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm stressed. Not only did I kiss B again, but she said things that I had been denying myself."

This time Tina went quiet.

"She hit everything that was going on with me right in the head. She basically yelled at me for letting Statham stomp all over my current non existent ego... And then she told me it was okay if this directing thing didn't turn out exactly as I wanted it," I paused thinking for a second, "No one has said that to me at all so far, I've been trying so hard to make sure this works after the whole argument I had with literally anyone who cares for me about going to university. I've been putting more and more strain on making sure that picking to work my way towards being a director this way wasn't a mistake."

"Greg, it's not going to be perfect. I'm sure hoity toity satan Statham himself was doing coffee runs at some point." She said suggesting a joke. I cracked a smile at that, it was ever so slightly funny to think about George Statham running around following someone else's orders and taking someone else's notes.

When we finally ended our conversation I had a grin plastered on my face. Only to find it be wiped off almost immediately with a text from Emily.

'You haven't made any effort since yesterday to reach out to me so I thought I'd reach out to you. Can we please talk things over before you decide to get angry and stay angry? I love you.'

I didn't move a muscle. It felt as if for a second everything froze. And then I put my phone down, and I walked away from it. Straight into the arms of another problem woman in my life. My wonderful mother who I had somewhat fought with yesterday as well. I braced myself for her to bring on the tears and mope around telling me I needed to let her into my life.

"I just don't understand her, why doesn't she get that I can handle things on my own?"

"Gregory." B warned gently.

I was took in a deep breath and wrapped my arms around my mum. We held eachother like that for awhile and then I pulled off her and offered a weak smile. She started beaming and that was all that was needed to be said.

I was just so tired of fighting.

Not today at least.