My Fic - Damn It Crowley
"Damn it Crowley!"
"Yes darling."
"Is there something you'd like to tell me."
"Nope. Not that I can think of."
"Damn it Crowley. I had to hear it from Sam's bloody archangel."
"I don't have the faintest idea what you're going on about."
"So you don't know that you're pregnant."
"That's absurd Robert. How could I be pregnant? I'm a Demon. A male Demon. It's not like I'm in a female meat suit either."
"We'll that's what that bloody archangel told me."
"Is that all he told you?"
"..."
"Robert?"
"It's mine alright."
"It isn't real."
"Wait nine months and it'll be very real."
"Wanna bet Robert?"
~*~
"Bloody hell Robert. How do women do this?"
"So you admit the kid is real?"
"Yes. Now make it go away."
"You're six months along. Still got three to go."
"Why did you do this to me Robert?"
"We had sex once. Plus I wasn't aware that men could get pregnant. Even Demon men."
"Well it's still all your fault."
"It takes two to tango idjit."
"Just go and get me some ice cream Robert."
"I'm not your bloody maid."
"..."
"Thank you Robert."
~*~
"It's crying Robert."
"Wow Crowley. Thanks for pointing it out. I never would have noticed. And it's a she. And she needs a name."
"Make it stop."
"It's your bloody turn. You do it."
"But Robert, you know I don't do diapers."
"..."
"Robert?"
"..."
"Damn it Robert! Wake up!"
"..."
"Fine. But you owe me Robert."
~*~
"What the hell do you mean you're human."
"I mean I'm human darling. The boys found a cure."
"A cure for being a demon?"
"No a cure for the common cold."
"Is that even possible?"
"Shoot me and watch me bleed."
"..."
"That hurts Robert."
"I am so sorry! How can I make it up to you?"
"One, you can stop me from bleeding out. Two, you can pick Mary up from Dean and Cas's."
"That's all the way in Kansas. How do you expect me to get there?"
"Bleeding out here Robert."
"Oh, right."
"Oh, right? How do you forget about the man bleeding out on your floor?"
"Shut up and sit still."
"That hurts Robert."
"You're the one who told me to shoot you."
"You're the one who shot me."
"You're the one who decided to leave our 15 year old daughter in Kansas while you went and turned human."
"Get the Angel to bring her home then."
"I will."
~*~
"Damn it Crowley. Don't you go dying on me."
"Robert. I love you."
"Don't say that like you're dying, damn it."
"Face it Robert. Humans die."
"Why'd you have to go and get yourself turned human?"
"I've already told you. I wanted to grow old and die with you."
"You weren't supposed to die before me."
"..."
"Crowley?"
"I love you darling."
"Damn it Crowley."
"..."
"I love you too. Idjit."
~*~
"I'm tired Crowley."
"..."
"I miss you too damn much."
"..."
"I can't live with out you."
"..."
"The boys have moved on. Their Angels gave moved on. Sami and Ben and Claire have moved on. Hell, even Mary has moved on."
"..."
"I can't do this without you Crowley. And I'm not going to."
"..."
"I'm so sorry."
~*~
"Hello Robert."
"I've missed you. So damn much."
"And I missed you."
"I love you, you idjit."
"I love you too, darling."
