You wonder why I'm so quiet why I don't speak up. Why my answers are limited. Why I come across as shy well that is the half truth, you want to know the full reason? I'll tell you why I mess everything up when I do. I never think.
My mistakes warn me but they never seem to change no matter what I do the out come is always the same. I'm always the one who messes things up. I hurt those around me when I never want that to happen. I am to blame and me alone. So I cast my self In a spell of silence.
Why can't I just keep quiet and live in a world of darkness where no one but the shadows roam. I'm sure I won't be a burden to others then.
Why do I feel upset I'm the one to blame. I'm the one that hurts them so I should be the one that suffers me, just me, no one else.
I always realise when it's too late by then the damage has already begun and if is then out of my control.
I hide behind a smile and a bright personality. But what lies beneath everything, way deep in the deepest corner away from the surface is destruction and chaos. A river of internal sadness and silence flows trying to expand, sometimes it succeeds destroying everything in it's path. Why can't I ever think before I speak.
These walls I build are so thin, they barely keep my demons in; hidden from the light. I wish these demons of mine never existed. Our world would be so much easier.
So you wonder why I'm so quiet and why I rarely speak there is your answer. As long as I keep my demons under control away from the surface they can not win and hurt the people I love.
So if I don't answer straight away or you wonder why I'm so quiet it's because I'm keeping the destruction away from the light. So please forgive me.
