Three years Sounds like a long time when you're young. But it can appear minuscule when they become memories.
Three months is short. but many events can occur within those ninety days.
Three hours sounds like nothing compared to eternity; Except they can be equivalent at times.
Spring: I was having a panic attack.
I was at my grandmas downstairs on the bunk bed on my phone. Out of nowhere, I got a message from Josh.
"Doesn't this kid know what no means?" I muttered to myself as I opened the message. Instead of him attempting to flirt however it was a text that made my heart beat fast.
"Is Justin answering you? I can't get a hold of him. He walked off to his exes and I'm worried."
My eyes widened and I quickly texted Justin. After a few minutes I texted him again, and then again and again. About an hour and around thirty messages to him later, he finally answered.
"Hey.." He sent. Me being me,
I flipped on him.
Then me being idiotic me,told him how I felt.
I knew his response before he even sent the text. He didn't feel the same. It stung, but I was expecting it so I wasn't too crushed. Although he rejected me, I couldn't help saying stupid cheesy shit.
God I'm pathetic.
Summer: Justin and I talked regularly. Over call and texting. He spoke mostly of his ex girlfriend, but I didn't care.
Okay that's a lie. It hurt, but I still enjoyed listening to him talk. I loved his voice. When I first heard it I commented on how much I adored it; pathetic idiot. He chuckled nervously at my odd compliment and continued on. He would always take at least a minute or two to reply. I not wanting to seem desperate, would force myself to wait as long as he did to answer.
It would frustrate me that he did not feel the same, and one nigh I was done. He had hurt me again and I hid my hurt with anger and tried to say goodbye. Then my idiot instinct kicked in and I told him I loved him. There's gotta be something wrong with me! To my surprise however,
he said it back. I knew he didn't mean it the way I did. It still clouded my judgment. We kept talking, and quite lovey dovey at that. Until of course everything went to hell once again.
My mom discovered our conversations and went ballistic. She took away my phone for the rest of the summer.
Thus began my 'wonderful' journey of depression and self hate.
I decided to move to my moms and go to school in steinbach. I still did enjoy summer. I spent most of it exploring. My brother was going to a youth drop in and after a month or so I got up the courage to check it out. It was so much fun. I felt like I belonged for the first time; Though I only spoke to the volunteers. It made me glad I had met Justin or I would have been miserable.
Fall: After three months I finally got my phone back when school started. was so excited to text Justin finally. I sent a quick light message to him, explaining my absence. To not my surprise, I didn't have many texts; Other than Justin. One of the few that had texted me was a friend from Warren. "Are you ignoring Justin?" The message confused me. My protective friend instinct kicked in and I warned her not to get involved with him because he's trouble. We spent a few minutes of her questioning me and me warning her. Then she sent a text that made my heart drop and my eyes burn. "Well we're kind of already dating."
I was furious and hurt and felt extremely vulnerable. I immediately texted Justin and started telling him off.
The next few months consisted of on off talking. I still loved him, but always hid it in anger and hurt. I no longer spoke to my one friend. I just couldn't. She knew how I felt about him. I never should have told her about him.
