Durarara!! Vol. 5

Lovey-Dovey Prattles of an Underground Doctor I

Am I* a bad guy, you ask? 

* Here Shinra uses "boku" to refer to himself.

Is that even a question?

Although I do think that the most evil thing I've done to date is to have lied to you, I've also told you that I didn't regret it, haven't I?

What's up? Your neck's blushing.

Just kidding. It's not like Celty's blood even circulates like a normal human's...uwahh! That hurts, that hurts! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Speaking of which, every time I* tell you that I like you you'll say - 

* Here he uses "ore".

"You must have been pretty lonely back when you were a teenager."

That's mean. I* wasn't lonely at all. As to why - because I had you by my side, of course! 

* Here he uses "watashi". 

Eh? You want me to "stop switching back and forth between 'boku', 'watashi' and 'ore', pick just one and stick with it"?

But I don't want to, Celty. A leopard doesn't want its spots changed. Even if you ask me to change the personality I'm born with, I can't. First-person pronouns are meant to be varied with different conversation partners anyway. 

The world is filled with all kinds of people. That's why you need to use different pronouns in front of different people......but to me, Celty equals the entire human race, or the entire world. That's right. I have to show every single facet of me in front of you, be it my preferred facade in front of other people or my real self!

......Hmm, where were we?

Ahh, right, we were talking about whether I was a bad guy or not. What brought that to your mind?

Heheh. I know. It's got to be that movie you just saw. Weird movie, that one, isn't it? All the characters are good, but end up having to do bad things because they have no other choice. That's how the story's like, right? 

You're way too adorable for coming to ask me if I was a bad guy just because you saw that movie.

I'm so in love with you and your outspoken ways. You should watch a romantic movie next time around and come tell me we should make love to each other like they do in the movie.

......"'If it's something like 'The War of the Roses', I can give it a try.'"......? Celty, you always say such mean things to me. 

Let's go back to the "bad guy" topic.

Hmm. If it's for the love between Celty and me, I'm pretty sure I can become as bad as bad can be.

"'Don't use love as your excuse'"? Ahh, don't say such things to me. Love has nothing to do with either good or bad to begin with, anyway.

Speaking of which, though, I feel like we hear the phrase "love and justice" a lot but no one seems to ever mention "love and evil". 

Evil guys whose love is deeper than the ocean. 

I think there are many such guys out there in the world, don't you?

If the object of affection is narrowed down to Celty, then I am one. 

"'Stop saying embarrassing nonsense'"?

That's not possible. In front of Celty embarrassment is for me but a double shot in the cocktail of love. 

Eh, "'I meant me! I'll get embarrassed so just shut up!'"......? That's no problem! They say requited love is like "Fallen petals on a running brook", so if you feel embarrassed, I'll just hold tight in my arms that embarrassed body of yours awwwww!

That was mean. How come you're punching me all of a sudden? Now we're like "Fallen petals want to be loved but the brook simply runs on with indifference"! 

But your perversity is what makes you all the more lovely, Celty! Uwahh that hurts that hurts that hurts! Ah, were you trying to conceal your embarrassment with that pinch in my cheek aaaah that hurts that hurts it's being torn apart! My face's being torn apart aaaaaaaah......